I like just about everything Nancy Wilson writes, so while up in the wee hours nursing the baby I’ve been catching up on her articles for women in Credenda Agenda magazine. This one in particular struck me as one to share with you. If you’re a mama who finds that your moods are affected by outside influences- specifically the weather- then take encouragement from Mrs. Wilson.
Well, here we are officially at week 39. I typically deliver early, as you know, so it really could be any time now. My body has done it's usual "Hey- you're in labor! No, just kidding, you're not" since Friday, meaning I've dealt with regular contractions that stop and two bouts of feeling icky in a pre-labor sort of way. Had to bow out early on coffee with Caroline last night (sorry 
).
But because we've been laughing a lot about it around here, my husband posted a commentary of answers to questions we're being asked. Read at your own risk- we can get snarky and sarcastic when we are feeling like everything is up in the air.
And of course above it all stands our almighty, omnipotent God who holds our baby's days in His hands. I know there will come a time when I will begin to think I can't take anymore, and He will faithfully deliver me. This morning I read Isaiah 43 and thought it was a perfect fit for labor:
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But because we've been laughing a lot about it around here, my husband posted a commentary of answers to questions we're being asked. Read at your own risk- we can get snarky and sarcastic when we are feeling like everything is up in the air.
And of course above it all stands our almighty, omnipotent God who holds our baby's days in His hands. I know there will come a time when I will begin to think I can't take anymore, and He will faithfully deliver me. This morning I read Isaiah 43 and thought it was a perfect fit for labor:
"But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;"
No, I am NOT Super Mom. And because I am not, I need a little help. So I take Super Mom! This is the first pregnancy in seven where I feel really terrific at the end. I have to believe that some of that is due to the regular chiropractic care I’m getting, but I also believe Super Mom is responsible for my high energy, great skin (for me), and lack of any swelling. No bulbous nose!
Recently a friend and I were chatting about when we were first exposed to well-managed, godly large families. For me, it was 1993 and I had just one baby boy. I was listening to a tape by a homeschooling mother of eight and could hardly believe what I was hearing. This mother was organized, efficient, and joyful.
In 1995 I met a friend who at the time was expecting her fifth. I remember the first time I had lunch at her home. The children liked each other, there was a joyful and relaxed atmosphere, and they actually helped without complaint. I remember driving away thinking, "I want a family like that."
I learned a lot from these women and others God graciously brought into my life. But I have learned something more by living this life of managing a large homeschooling family: jobs don't always get done the way I want them to.
Did you catch that? Because I think it's important that those of you who are just starting to walk this path understand what I didn't: often children don't do a job the way or to the standard at which I would. Or you would.
So when you read that my 13-year-old is cleaning the kitchen or that my 11-year-old is winterizing the kitchen garden, realize that they aren't doing it perfectly. They are still learning, still developing skills, still needing mom and dad to check their work and sometimes still needing to go back and re-do the job entirely.
Don't let it frustrate you. Your job is as trainer, and although I highly, highly value the help my children give me, I still need to mop floors, clean toilets, and iron. If my standard was child-sized, I probably wouldn't have to do those things. But my goal is to raise adults, not children.
It is so easy for us to compare ourselves to one another, isn't it? One of Satan's better tricks, I think. On our harder days it is easy to think that every other woman's life is easier. "She seems to be doing everything so well. But she..." Fill in the blank- but she...
-has fewer children than I do
-has older children than I do
-has a husband who is home three days a week
-has a husband who is gone three days a week
-has household help
-has a bigger income than I do
-has a better education than I do
-has only girls
-has only boys
-doesn't have to work part-time to make ends meet
-has a family that supports her
I'm sure you can think of a few, too.
Oh, sisters, let's not fall into this trap. Because for one thing, we may not know the whole story. While any of the above might be true blessings in the life of a sister, she probably struggles in areas you take for granted. Maybe her health is poor. Maybe she battles unrelenting spiritual warfare. Maybe her husband doesn't love her.
More importantly, when we take on an attitude of self-pity, we are really loving ourselves above our sisters. And comparison is a form of covetousness.
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's." Exodus 20:17
For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery," "You shall not murder," "You shall not steal," "You shall not bear false witness," "You shall not covet," and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Romans 13:9
Oh, that we would love our neighbors as ourselves. And lay down the comparisons.
You do know that all the things I've shared on Preschoolers and Peace have been the result of years. Time. From our family vision statement to our ever-changing laundry system to white boards, everything has developed over time.
And we haven't arrived.
Give yourself the years it takes to develop character in your children, systems that work well, and a life that honors God.
And know that things rarely stay as they are. No sooner have we mastered a schedule than it has to change for one reason or another. That's ok, too.