Corin!
Corin is living life in the midst of preschoolers (three of them) and it is evident from her words that she has not lost sight of the challenges we mothers of preschoolers face. She has learned how to worship God through sleepless nights, unpredictable days, and even unproductivity.
It can be frustrating to a mother with young children to read the advice of mothers who have forgotten the ins and outs of everyday life with little people; they often clearly don't recall how a mother of preschoolers is "on" every minute of her day. She is needed in a hundred different directions and hearing the still, small voice of God can seem impossible.
So take much encouragement in what Corin has to share, and Corin- congratulations!
♥
I've struggled a lot with finding time to study Gods word. I've tried getting up early. I hear so many people talk about how wonderful their morning devotions are, and the benefits of starting off their day in God's Word. I don't doubt them, but for me it just didn't work. I'm not a morning person, and doing it in the morning didn't let my brain comprehend what I was reading. So I tried doing it at night, but fell asleep too often.
I tried cramming it all in a few times per week, to ponder over the rest of the week. That didn't work out too well either!
I tried reading my bible while nursing. That worked with my first and I read my bible, in short sections, several times a day. When #2 came along and I had to keep an eye on an 18 month old, while having difficulties with nursing the baby, that went right out the window. I was sure that I'd only be able to do any bible studying in short bursts again. Maybe once a day, maybe once a week, who knows? I grabbed my bible, when I could, on days that everything was going fairly calmly.
About 18 months later #3 joined us. How on earth was I going to find the time now?!?!? Reading while I nursed wasn't going to work with an 18 month old and a 3 year old around. Not that they were bad behaved, but to ask them to sit, quietly enough for me to really concentrate, for 30 minutes every 2-3 hours seemed a bit much to me. Every spare moment seemed to be filled! People at the grocery store asked how I even got a chance to shower! I bought CD bible set to listen to as I folded laundry, drove in the car and did other quiet, mindless, tasks. That was alright, but didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. I'm a visual learner, and when my eyes are active, my ears just don't comprehend as much and eventually it just blended in with the other background noise.
I had to step back for a few days and look at how I got anything accomplished. Did the cooking still get done each day? Yes (okay, so almost every day ;-) ), did the laundry still get done? How about the housework? All of those things may not have been done perfectly (I had 3 babies ages 3 and under, gimme a break!) but they did usually get done. So when did I find the time to do them? Hmmmmm... good question! I did a little here and a little there all day most days, while supervising play time, answering endless questions, and with at least 1 baby on my hip.
I prayed and took a look at when I did the majority of it. That's when I realized that nap time was my answer. I had 1 12 hours, each and every day, of quiet (assuming they all fell asleep at the same time instead of singing or playing in their beds). That was the time I used to really buckle down and get the housework done.
I didn't have time during naps to get all of the housework and bible reading done. They were both important, but which was really more important? Matched up socks, or time with my Lord? I took half an hour out of my nap time cleaning schedule and changed it to bible instead. I was able to do it every day and still get some housework done and at a time of day my brain was still functioning halfway decently. I left the easier tasks (such as putting away the silverware, dusting the lower parts of the furniture, etc.) undone and began teaching my boys to do them when they woke up from their nap. Doing that meant that the work still got done every day and I didn't have an excuse.
One year later it's still working out well. After lunch I sweep the floors, then read my bible. Usually it's for a little over half an hour. While it still may not get done every single day without question (does anything?), it does get done most days.
I've also changed a few other activities. I used to read a lot of news and commentaries online. I stopped and cleaned out my "favorites" list with 2 requirements: Is it edifying? (YIKES did that cut down a lot!) Does it help me better minister to my family? I belong to a wonderful Christian mothers forum that I used to check several times every day. While it fit both of my requirements wonderfully, it still took up a lot of time. I now check it once a day and you know what? Those posts that I would've read later in the day, then again in the evening, are still there waiting for me the next morning! I realized that doing those few things cut down my computer time from "who knows how long" each day, to about an hour. That gave me time to read books (other than my bible) that would help me stretch and grow spiritually.
My husband also recently signed up for an internet music service. Instead of getting bored with my small selection of praise and worship music and putting in something else instead, I can listen to a random mix, from hundreds of albums during the day without commercials or dj's interrupting. Now I'm learning new worship songs, and it's helping me focus more on Him while getting my work done.
Hopefully this will help someone else out there. Nap time may not work out for everyone. Pray, pray, pray and ask Him to show you how to find the time. The Lord doesn't ask you to take on more than you can handle, so if you can't find the time, then it's likely that you are spending time doing something that He may not have for you to do.
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Remember what it was like to be expecting your first baby?
I have a sweet friend who is expecting her first, and her blog entry yesterday really touched me. It just reminded me that I need to see each of my children in this way:
Yesterday was my third doctor's appointment. Our little baby is growing and healthy. It is so awesome, and reassuring, to hear his (or her) little heartbeat. Thump-thump, thump-thump. . . 156 miraculous beats per minute. God is amazing. Her little heart has been beating for almost as long as I've even known of her existence. And, God already knows the exact number of beats it will beat. Every beat of our tiny child's heart is counted out and each of her days is numbered. God is amazing. I have difficulty grasping the magnitude of the fact that inside me is a tiny eternal being. This baby, measured in ounces and inches, has an infinite number of days ahead of him. God created an everlasting soul. God is, right now, inside of me, wrapping that soul in sinews and skin. God is amazing. Hearing that heart beating so rapidly and strongly is a tangible reminder of the increased responsibility I have to pray for the baby to whom that heart belongs. To pray that she will have a soft and teachable heart. To pray that God would be gracious and cause this little one to seek and love Him early. God can hear and answer those prayers. God is amazing.My sweet friend Caroline has been given the gift of an extraordinary preschooler. I recently asked her to share with you how she maintains a peaceful home while homeschooling a special needs daughter...
I have two daughters, Gillian is seven and Emma is three. Gillian has moderate mental retardation and sensory processing disorder. Her mental level at this time is that of a two- year-old. We decided to take on the wonderful task of homeschooling her when she was four. Little did I know that I would be doing preschool work with one child for more than three years. But now I am becoming somewhat of a pro.
In order to have peace in our home we have to keep the routine going. It is so easy for me to just get caught up doing other things that I let the routine go and soon look back and realize there is no sense of peace in our home or our school. I am just coming out of one of those times. The last month has been filled with everything but the routine that we so desperately need.
So what is that routine that keeps this peace in the air? It is simply doing the same thing day after day after day. Gillian requires lots of consistency in her life to stay calm. She has different routines in her life and if you veer away from the routine she gets confused and just shuts off. One example just happened the other night: After taking a bath I always have Gillian put all the tub toys in a bucket before she gets out of the bathtub. She knows the routine so when I tell her it’s time to put the toys away and get out she does it right away. Well, the other night my husband was getting them out of the tub and he told her to get out of the bathtub. She just stared at him. So he told her again to get out and she continued to just look at him as tho she was confused. I explained the ‘routine’ to him and once she was told to put the toys away and get out she did immediately.
So we do many of our daily activities with a routine. I do not do well on a schedule with time frames so I don’t keep one around. I like lists where I can cross off what has been done. I know what needs to get done everyday and I know it needs to be done before the end of the day. We don’t really have a set schedule- just a list of things that need to get accomplished in our own time. This has worked best for us and kept me sane and peace in our home. It also doesn’t ever make us feel rushed. I can take my time working with Gillian on getting dressed, brushing her teeth, etc... It just works better for all of us to not be bound by time constraints all the time.
One of the key things to our day is something that my wonderful husband taught me and has brought me so much peace. I use to go about my day doing my chores and being apart from my children. Emma would be doing something in her room and Gillian would be doing something destructive in another room. I would get done with what I was doing and find Gillian pouring water all over the coffee table. While I was cleaning up that mess she would be in my room emptying out all the videos from the cupboard. While cleaning up that mess she would go into the bathroom and unroll the toilet paper roll into the toilet clogging it up. This is what everyday was looking like and I was frustrated and exhausted. So in order to avoid this kind of day the girls became attached to my hip. Not literally, of course, although sometimes it would be nice to have some velcro. They follow me throughout the house doing whatever I am doing. This has been a help in more ways than one. Not only am I avoiding "Gillian messes", the girls are learning how to do all the chores around the house. We do the laundry together, make the beds, do the dishes, etc.... When I am getting ready in the mornings they sit on our bed and watch a movie or read books. If I am doing something they don’t know how to do I have them sit and watch me so they will eventually learn how to do it. I have found that this makes all three of us girls in a much better mood. They love doing the chores with me and we play and sing as we are doing them laughing and being silly.
In order for Gillian to learn how to do something she has to see it being done about a hundred times. She requires lots and lots of repetition which is good for Emma and for me. I usually have Emma working side by side with us when I am teaching Gillian something new. So Emma is seeing or hearing it over and over again as well and she can pick up the new skill right away. I even have Emma do therapy with Gillian sometimes. It’s good for both of them.
We don’t do a lot of actual school work. Most of what Gillian does right now is therapy and learning daily life skills. The only sit down work we do right now is "Handwriting Without Tears". My struggle with doing work that required my complete attention on one child was what to do with the other child. This is where blanket time has come in handy. While working one-on-one with one child, the other child sits on a blanket nearby with either a couple of books or some flash cards. They get to pick which one they want which makes them more excited about it. This keeps them quiet and I am able to get more accomplished with the other child.
What we do is extremely simple. It does not take a lot of planning on my part, mostly patience and diligence. But those are good virtues that I am more than willing to learn.