Sometimes I get the neat experience of meeting someone who reads the P and P blog and also lives near me. Rachel and I recently got to meet, but before that we had been corresponding by email. She is expecting her sixth and will have six under seven next year!
Since our little one due in May will be just 14 months younger than his big brother, I asked Rachel for some survival tips. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share them with you, too:
1. Scheduling babies. I have done this (with flexibility) with most of my babies, and it helps so much! I get much needed sleep at nights and naptime, and baby seems happier.
2. Rest time. All my children take at least a one hour rest time away from everyone else (I have to get creative here since we are running out of rooms to put people!) I let the ones who are not napping to play with quiet toys or read books. They have to clean up their rest spot after the timer goes off before they allowed to come out. I totally need this break for me! My brain needs a break to focus on something without being interrupted constantly. I use it to read, take a nap, catch up on emails, or whatever I need to do. The children know to stay in their rest spots and not call me.
3. Training time. I just learned to do this last year from a dear Mom of many. I take about 10 minutes most days to practice obedience. We started with "yes, Mommy." I quietly call them over and ask them to do something, and they respond with a "yes, Mommy" (or ma'am if you prefer - my hubby vetoed that). We make it fun and happy. They have practiced "come here," and where to stand when someone comes to the door (instead of crowding around and blocking the entrance.) We also learned Phil.2:3-4 together to learn loving our brothers and sisters - I tell them that it is their job to help make their younger siblings happy. For them that means sharing, giving, and being selfless. (I don't know yet what I will tell my youngest regarding that rule!)
4. Having the older ones do chores and help me when I need it. We are working on this one, but my oldest two are great helpers, and the younger ones are learning to be!
5. Personal exercise and Bible time. I get up before my children to do these, or they don't get done. Of course my personal Bible time is more important than exercise, but having just recently started exercising again, I see why the Bible says that "physical training is of some value." 1 Tim. 2:8 Sometimes the Bible time I have with the children is the only Bible I get all day, but God has spoken to me through that, too. Oh, and I do Bible time with the children while they are eating breakfast. That way, I have a captive audience.
6. Be flexible. There are days that nothing gets done. Nothing. I am blessed to have a patient husband because the house rarely is picked up - it was much worse when my oldest two were really little. Three children 3 and under is harder than five children 6 and under!
7. Honor and respect my husband. If I put my husband first (second to God, but before my children), our relationship stays strong and it frees me up to do the best I can as a mother.
8. Simplify. I stay home a lot more than when I only had one or two! We don't make weekly trips to the library, but maybe once a month. We only this year started sport-type classes with our children, and even then, they are small commitments, with no games, programs, etc. We also stopped having big birthday bashes, and found out we prefer to have just our immediate family celebrate together. We may have a 1st birthday party and maybe one when they are older, but not every year. Also under simplify that I am learning is have a night routine that gets me ready for the morning. It took me a long time to realize my mornings would be a lot smoother if I had the coffee pot ready, hubby's shirt ironed, his lunch made, my clothes ready, etc. Another thing is to cook in bulk. I love when I make our favorite chicken dish x4 and freeze the extras so that I can pull it out of the freezer and pop it in the oven with minimal effort.
Wow, I came up with more than I thought I would. Funny thing is, it sounds like I "have it together" and I really don't! At least I see that there are things that I do well. All I see sometimes is the never shrinking pile of clean laundry and dirty kitchen floor! Mark (hubby) and I are watching the Growing Kids God's Way video series with friends of ours. I am so happy we are watching it together to be on the same page, and for Mark to lead us. I always have read the parenting books, but don't restate things very well, and my parenting during the day was different when Daddy was home... I learned very recently that I was angry at him for not helping me at night with the children, and I would take it out on them (not pretty at all). For some reason, I thought that if I lost my self control and start yelling at them, he would see what a hard time I was having and would help me. I'm embarrassed to say it took me a long time to realize that what I was doing was wrong! (Thus the reason for me adding "honor and respect my husband" on my list.)
My hardest time with my little ones is training when they are 1/2/3years old - and that is foundational! For some reason, I have never been good at training them...maybe my expectations are low? My two year old runs the other way when I say, "Come here!" My just turned four year old son right now has been our hardest by far. We don't know if he is just "all boy" or if he is hyper, or what! When I was on my knees one day, I felt that God told me it was his diet. We are going to start the Feingold program (aka ADHD diet) that eliminates artificial colors and flavors. My hubby and I doubt it will help though, isn't that awful?! Of course a bunch of his behavior is our parenting, I am sure - if not most of it.
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This post is for Lois, Kristi, and Dana, all of whom were in my home Saturday for our church's bi-annual Homeschool Encouragement Day. Of course, the downstairs was neat and tidy (except I didn't mop the kitchen floor 
) and so we talked about how easy it is to assume someone else's homeschooling house is always cleaned up. In fact, when my family was helping me get it into order, my oldest son said wisely, "Mom, if you really want to encourage the ladies, then we shouldn't be cleaning up." Ha! True. But I did want to make it a nice environment for everyone so we made sure the bathroom was clean and the clutter was at least tossed upstairs.
But the challenge from the ladies above was to take pictures of our homes during the "real" times. Here you go, girls. These photos are from Sunday afternoon, 4:30 p.m.
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) and so we talked about how easy it is to assume someone else's homeschooling house is always cleaned up. In fact, when my family was helping me get it into order, my oldest son said wisely, "Mom, if you really want to encourage the ladies, then we shouldn't be cleaning up." Ha! True. But I did want to make it a nice environment for everyone so we made sure the bathroom was clean and the clutter was at least tossed upstairs.
But the challenge from the ladies above was to take pictures of our homes during the "real" times. Here you go, girls. These photos are from Sunday afternoon, 4:30 p.m.
Hmmm... the Sunday paper, half-eaten coffee cake, my ice tea glass with spoon, various other glasses, and the mess left from several children cracking walnuts on the counter in the background.
Some kinda creativity goin' on. Drawing on walnuts and building with straws, complete with stuff on the counters and desk. When we re-do this kitchen, the desk is history. It's a stuff-magnet.
So now it's your turn. Anybody want to share the reality of life as a busy homeschooling household?
I am not a seamstress, so those of you who are will laugh that I had to buy a pattern to make these fun skirts for my daughters. But what cuties they turned out to be! The pattern is Butterick B4722, and requires only basic sewing skills.
And you can't beat those $4 Valentine's t-shirts from Target 
Some of you have been waiting a really, really, long time for me to answer your emails, and for that I apologize. Hopefully it just makes you realize that I am normal and have a threshold for what I can handle, just like you! I am not Supermom
Kendra,
If you have time and think it would help other moms, can you talk a little about how you survive the last 2 weeks of pregnancy and the first 4-6 weeks postpartum, when the baby starts sleeping longer stretches? We have a daily schedule, meals in the fridge, and a somewhat structured home. We have three little girls right now, ages 6, 4, and 2, with #4 due today, and obviously not here! J We are homeschooling the oldest two, and started school back in June so we could take our ‘summer’ when the baby comes, and just do as much school as we need for sanity & structure.
Thank you so much for your encouragement & example!
Melanie
Hi Melanie-
Well, if I've figured correctly, that sweet baby due "today" is now two months old. Yipes! I am behind, aren't I???
You know, my life is very different now than when I had the same ages as yours: 6, 4, 2, and a newborn. For one thing, having older kids is an amazing amount of help, and for another, I actually have help coming into my house now. I'll blog on that later, but suffice it to say that I think those earlier years when the oldest of four is just six years old are HARD.
My husband can't take time off from work. Once a patient actually got upset with his receptionist when she told him that my husband wasn't in the office because his wife was in labor. Between impatient patients and running his dental practice solo, he just can't be away from the office very long. I can't remember which baby, but with one who was born in the morning, he actually went back to work and saw patients in the afternoon. I just can't rely on him for help and I marvel at the dads who are given a paid six-week paternity leave. If that's your husband, be thankful!
As for surviving the last two weeks, I can tell you that I haven't been very good about it in the past. The pressure that feels like a bowling ball (you all can relate, I'm sure), the sleeplessness, the exhaustion, the constant heartburn, and my sciatic nerve keeping me in pain made those last weeks a marathon of emotional and physical endurance.
But then the last pregnancy was completely different, although considering the pregnancy (my eighth), the fact that it was on the heels of a miscarriage, and my age (36), it shouldn't have been. But the last pregnancy was the first one in which I was taking a fabulous supplement and having regular chiropractic care. One or the other or both made all the difference in the world.
It might be a good idea to store up freezer meals during the second trimester when we feel good. Then in the last few weeks, dinner is done. I'd also think about super-simple meals the rest of the day-- cereal or peanut butter toast for breakfast and cheese, crackers, and apples for lunch. If that's what you serve for 14 straight days, it's ok. It's a season. Oh, and eliminate or simplify snacks. You don't need a fourth meal to clean up. Oh, AND, eat outside where the crumbs don't have to be swept up 
In the weeks postpartum, life is about survival and being a kind mom. I'm a failure at this. Apparently day four is my worst, or so my husband has noticed. So I am already thinking about what I can do to be prepared for the day my hormones all attack at once and I am an exhausted, crying mess (wow, I sound pathetic, don't I?). I might try to see if some of my littler or "trickier" ones can have a play date at a friend's home, or if I just need to sit the older ones down and let them know that I need to be in bed for the day. My older ones are all so sweet when I have a need like that, but when I just had little ones like you, I think the best thing would have been to ask a friend to take them for the day.
Take the first few weeks or months (whatever you need) postpartum to ease into life. This is a great time to invite all the children to snuggle in bed with you in the morning and turn on a short video to watch together. Take the day slowly. Don't stress about school. Enjoy the baby but insist everyone have an afternoon rest or nap time. Make hot cocoa with marshmallows and read picture books aloud while recouping on the couch. Keep the little ones close by so they aren't in another room destroying everything in reach.
I am sorry it took me so long to respond to your questions, but hopefully your postpartum weeks went well.
Blessings,
Kendra
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Kendra,
If you have time and think it would help other moms, can you talk a little about how you survive the last 2 weeks of pregnancy and the first 4-6 weeks postpartum, when the baby starts sleeping longer stretches? We have a daily schedule, meals in the fridge, and a somewhat structured home. We have three little girls right now, ages 6, 4, and 2, with #4 due today, and obviously not here! J We are homeschooling the oldest two, and started school back in June so we could take our ‘summer’ when the baby comes, and just do as much school as we need for sanity & structure.
Thank you so much for your encouragement & example!
Melanie
Hi Melanie-
Well, if I've figured correctly, that sweet baby due "today" is now two months old. Yipes! I am behind, aren't I???
You know, my life is very different now than when I had the same ages as yours: 6, 4, 2, and a newborn. For one thing, having older kids is an amazing amount of help, and for another, I actually have help coming into my house now. I'll blog on that later, but suffice it to say that I think those earlier years when the oldest of four is just six years old are HARD.
My husband can't take time off from work. Once a patient actually got upset with his receptionist when she told him that my husband wasn't in the office because his wife was in labor. Between impatient patients and running his dental practice solo, he just can't be away from the office very long. I can't remember which baby, but with one who was born in the morning, he actually went back to work and saw patients in the afternoon. I just can't rely on him for help and I marvel at the dads who are given a paid six-week paternity leave. If that's your husband, be thankful!
As for surviving the last two weeks, I can tell you that I haven't been very good about it in the past. The pressure that feels like a bowling ball (you all can relate, I'm sure), the sleeplessness, the exhaustion, the constant heartburn, and my sciatic nerve keeping me in pain made those last weeks a marathon of emotional and physical endurance.
But then the last pregnancy was completely different, although considering the pregnancy (my eighth), the fact that it was on the heels of a miscarriage, and my age (36), it shouldn't have been. But the last pregnancy was the first one in which I was taking a fabulous supplement and having regular chiropractic care. One or the other or both made all the difference in the world.
It might be a good idea to store up freezer meals during the second trimester when we feel good. Then in the last few weeks, dinner is done. I'd also think about super-simple meals the rest of the day-- cereal or peanut butter toast for breakfast and cheese, crackers, and apples for lunch. If that's what you serve for 14 straight days, it's ok. It's a season. Oh, and eliminate or simplify snacks. You don't need a fourth meal to clean up. Oh, AND, eat outside where the crumbs don't have to be swept up
In the weeks postpartum, life is about survival and being a kind mom. I'm a failure at this. Apparently day four is my worst, or so my husband has noticed. So I am already thinking about what I can do to be prepared for the day my hormones all attack at once and I am an exhausted, crying mess (wow, I sound pathetic, don't I?). I might try to see if some of my littler or "trickier" ones can have a play date at a friend's home, or if I just need to sit the older ones down and let them know that I need to be in bed for the day. My older ones are all so sweet when I have a need like that, but when I just had little ones like you, I think the best thing would have been to ask a friend to take them for the day.
Take the first few weeks or months (whatever you need) postpartum to ease into life. This is a great time to invite all the children to snuggle in bed with you in the morning and turn on a short video to watch together. Take the day slowly. Don't stress about school. Enjoy the baby but insist everyone have an afternoon rest or nap time. Make hot cocoa with marshmallows and read picture books aloud while recouping on the couch. Keep the little ones close by so they aren't in another room destroying everything in reach.
I am sorry it took me so long to respond to your questions, but hopefully your postpartum weeks went well.
Blessings,
Kendra