Posts in Life with Preschoolers
Back in the ER
That's right.  Let's review: June 2008- Mighty Joe and the enterovirus January 2009- Five-year-old and a fractured pelvis (tell your kids this when they don't remain seated until the car comes to a complete stop) January 2010- Eight-year-old and a ruptured appendix which has gone septic

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So, a morning in the ER, a day in ICU, and hopefully to the pediatric wing tomorrow for the remainder of the week.  Or more. Mighty Joe's PICU doctor was one of ten kids himself and he told me, "Kendra, the more kids you have, the more illnesses and injuries".  I believe him.
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Am I Short-Changing My Children?
Kendra, Wondering if you would be willing to comment on how to spend enough time with younger children while schooling older kids? I am a scheduler and use a modified version of MOTH. That helps. But this year I am dealing with one in middle school (he is self-motivated but his school day is pretty full), one in 5th who should be fairly independent by now but isn’t (dyslexic), a 3rd grader who is somewhat delayed but quickly catching up (still requires a lot of one-on-one though), and a very motivated K’er who would school all day long if I had the time to give her. Plus a high-strung three-year-old (we’re working on it), and a laid-back one-year-old who I am afraid gets a little too lost in the mix. My bottom line problem is that no matter what schedule I work out, I feel someone is getting short-changed. Sometimes I focus more on my little ones, doing the fun things with them that I used to do with my older kids when they were little — reading lots of stories and swinging and going on walks. But then my older kids don’t seem to get the one-on-one that they really need, especially my dyslexic child. On the other hand, if I focus on the older kids, then I begin to feel that I am doing nothing but moving the younger kids from one pre-planned activity to the next without any good, nurturing momma time. I would love some advice on how to balance all this. I feel like I have two separate groups of kids who need two different kinds of mommies/teachers. I know God called me to this, and is sovereign and not surprised or befuddled about what to do. That is comforting, but I feel so bad that I can’t seem to be what my kids need from day to day. Any thoughts? Sorry this is so long. Jenn ♥ Hi Jenn- The truth is, you really do have two sets with two different needs, and even within those sets there is such a variety of needs that it feels impossible to keep every plate spinning, doesn't it? I feel the same way you do, but I do remind myself (and try to press in closely to hear the Holy Spirit on this subject) that in God's perfect Sovereignty and plan, those needs are being met because He is meeting them and I will never be able to anyway. I know adults who were without siblings who feel that their parents couldn't be all things to them. And the truth is, we can't.  I used to think I could meet all the needs and wants, but not only can I not, I don't believe it would serve my children well if I did. Sometimes I'll hear an older child say something to the affect that if there were no little ones, they could do more things.  They have friends without young siblings who seem to have more opportunities than they do.  But I remind them that the little ones don't get to do all the things I used to do with the older ones when they were little- we can't go to Story Time at the library regularly or Mc Donald's play place for lunch anymore. I also point out that a lot of the joy in our family comes from the hilarity the little ones provide and that they will miss it terribly when they move on in their own lives.  The little guys are dually blessed by the older kids- piggyback rides, special playtimes, lots of attention, and someone to get them what they need when Mom isn't available. Some days I feel I haven't spent a ton of time with the little guys, but then I scoop them up and sit them on the counter while I'm making dinner, have a little conversation about their world, and suddenly they know how much their Mama adores them. ~Kendra
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Is it Possible to Have an Incredible Yet Frugal Christmas Celebration?
It's been crazy-busy here, even more so than usual.  Do you remember my dear friend Heather, who lost her husband nearly two years ago?  God has brought a wonderful man into her life and they are getting married next month!  We recorded music for her wedding yesterday, and I'm helping give her a small shower tonight.  So privileged to be celebrating with Heather and Phil. In lieu of a post today, I want to reprint a comment from the last post on celebrating Christmas. Naomi wrote:
Kendra — This has got to be one of the most refreshing and “releasing” and reminding things I have read on your site (and I have been around here for awhile, lurking of course!) Thank you for posting it. I am certain I never would have stumbled upon such a thing. I was truly convicted. I thought of Jesus’ first miracle of the wedding at Cana and how it was revelry and delight for all and when he was asked to help provide more, he didn’t rail against all who were enjoying and indulging, he performed a miracle to make a party go better! Seriously? For his first miracle? More excellent libations for the celebration!? It really made me think. My question comes when we don’t have much (any) extra money at any time of the year, much less Christmas, and it is hard to know how to make a “glorious tree” and all those presents and everything that she talks about when it seems out of possibility financially… And here was my answer:
Naomi- I love your observation about the wedding at Cana; it’s one I hadn’t thought of before. Your question is excellent and one I know many can relate to. Here’s what I’m thinking: What would make this year a bigger celebration for your family? Could it be planning a special breakfast, with some treat you rarely have? For us it’s homemade cinnamon rolls, homemade corned beef hash courtesy of Dad, scrambled eggs, biscuits, and gravy. This is the only day of the year we indulge in a breakfast this way, particularly because Easter always falls on Sunday and we can’t produce such a feast before church. In fact, you can go back before Christmas morning. Lighting candles every Sunday of advent, reading from Luke, a special dessert each Sunday night leading up to Christmas (and by special I don’t mean extravagant- cookies one night, ice cream another, etc…), paper snowflakes on the windows, Christmas music every day and a time to dance with joy, caroling to the neighbors, A Charlie Brown Christmas, driving around to see the lights… Make the opening of the presents, even if there’s one per person, a delight. Do it lottery-style, or have each person share something encouraging about the one opening the present at the moment. Open them sloooowly, and ooh and aah. Real Christmas trees are expensive, and when we had no money I brought a big branch inside (we lived in San Francisco so I really had to search to find one!), “planted” it in a pot with dirt and moss on top, then hung ornaments on the branches. It was cool! If you have silver or gold spray paint, you could spray the branches first. Invite friends and family over and potluck. We have a barn party every year the day after Thanksgiving and we serve big trays of cookies but ask everyone to bring a chair and a mug. Then we offer coffee and cider, both of which I use coupons to buy in the months before the party. I buy all paper goods the year before on clearance. We take a day off from school in December and watch Little Women. It’s just a tradition I started and now as my older boys aren’t so interested, I tell them it’s optional (but they tend to hang around…) I make popcorn and hot cocoa, and it’s a memory made. I’m not super creative, and I’m sure others can offer even better ideas. I hope this is helpful, though. ~Kendra ♥ So, my creative readers, what other ideas can you offer Naomi?
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Christmas Gifts Among Siblings
Our kiddos draw names for Christmas giving.  They love being able to focus all their available resources on one person, and I love listening to their ideas as they plan and plot each year. Last year we required them to make a gift for their recipient, and it was really neat to see what each child came up with.  The littlest ones had a bit of help :)

Nine-year-old sister made a fancy mirror from a kit for seven-year-old sister

Five-year-old sister made a cookie mix with cute label for 13-year-old brother

One-year-old brother made a necklace with a photo of himself for nine-year-old sister (he had a little help ;) )

13-year-old brother made a t-shirt for 11-year-old brother's in-house backrub business

We don't have photos of the last two, but seven-year-old sister made a whole gallon-sized Ziploc bag of chocolate chip cookie dough balls for 15-year-old brother.  She fetched them from the freezer for him on Christmas morning.  15-year-old brother made a cute little monkey shirt for one-year-old brother.  We giggled every time he wore it.

This year the kids have to buy or make a t-shirt for their chosen sibling.  So far the choices have been really fun, and I like that the gifts are practical and personally chosen with the recipient in mind.  Budget accommodating, too!

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What Did You Do Before There Were Older Kids to Help?

From the comments: What did you do with the little ones before you had an “older kid” old enough to be in charge of them? My oldest is eight and is often the one I need to be spending the one-on-one time with. But the one and just-turned-three-year-old cannot be trusted to their own devices and the five-year-old is not responsible enough to watch them. The one-year-old does not watch videos (not something I choose, he just is not interested)…the three-year-old would but they would disrupt the eight-year-old since our living/dining areas are open to each other. Oh yes, I do remember those days!  This is the season of your life when you're going to have to turn to unorthodox methods and do what works. When there are more little people than big, I tend to turn to an afternoon school schedule, or at least tackle the one-on-one stuff when the little ones are napping or resting.  It all depends on the little person, too.  Some of them are quite content to sit and look at books or color while I'm working with an older child, others-- not so much. Ask yourself what you can accomplish during the morning time all together. For me, that tends to be chores, a nature walk, an exercise time (mine have even liked doing a workout video with me!), some memory work, art, Bible time, singing, cooking, and reading aloud.  Do you see how much of that really is educational?  Then when you've got a quiet couple of hours in the afternoon, get to work on the subjects that take focus: math, history, science, grammar, etc. It's unorthodox, but who cares?  My husband often reminds me, "This is the benefit of homeschooling". Make sure you're prepared in advance for what's ahead. Set the table for breakfast the night before, and make it be a no-brainer: muffins, peanut butter on toast, cereal, baked oatmeal, crockpot oatmeal, applesauce.  Set out the kids' clothes, too.  Plan absolutely everything in advance that can be planned, and get it down on paper so you don't have to think about it again. Be flexible. What works this month might not work next month.  This was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn, because after I'd spent time making lists and charts and schedules, I wanted things to stay exactly as planned.  But then inevitably something changes; the baby drops her morning nap, I get pregnant and am sick for months on end, my husband has an emergency patient at 6 p.m., the older boys start water polo or get part-time jobs, and on it goes.  Nothing is static. Remind yourself that this is a season.  Pray and ask God to direct your steps and make it all come together.  Ask Him what you should be doing right now and what you can drop from your agenda.  If He calls you to it, He will make a way. ~Kendra
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