We've been educating our children at home for ten years now.  In those ten years, I have observed that there are expectations that non-homeschoolers can place on homeschooling moms simply because they lack the practical knowledge of what it means to homeschool. If you are the mother, grandmother, sister, friend, father, or brother of a homeschooling mom, here are some things you should know: 1. Educating children at home is a full-time job. Don't get irritated if she consistently allows the answering machine to do its job.  If she were a teacher in an institutional classroom, you probably wouldn't think of calling her during school hours, so try to realize that while still at home, she is keeping regular school hours, too. 2. Unlike homes in which the children are gone for eight straight hours, her home is in a constant state of activity.  The children are not only home, they are home making messes.  All day long.  Their mother doesn't even have the opportunity to go into their rooms while they are at school and weed out the junk.  And if she is like me, you might find odd homeschooly things lying around- like the month we had a dead turtle in the garage fridge. 3. Housekeeping and homeschooling are mutually exclusive.  If she is doing her job educating her children academically, then her house is not being cleaned.  If she takes the day to clean the house, then school wil not be accomplished.  4. Place realistic expectations on her- she cannot simultaneously teach school, make three square meals, keep a house that looks like it has sprung out of the pages of Architectural Digest, have her nails done, drive children to extracurricular activities, and have all the clothing laundered and pressed.  Something's gotta give, and in my experience, it is usually her personal care.  So don't expect her to don the latest styles, have her roots meticulously dyed at just the right moment, and her aforementioned nails filed and polished to perfection.  And while most of us aren't slovenly, we just tend to put some superfluous aspects of personal care at the bottom of the to-do list. 5. For many of us, homeschooling isn't an option.  Many believe it is not only the best way for their family, it is the only way.  Many see homeschooling as a Scriptural directive.  When sharing a particular struggle unique to homeschooling, comments like, "Well, why don't you consider putting them in school?  Maybe homeschooling just isn't your thing" aren't helpful.  Instead, offer a listening ear and your fervent prayers on her behalf.   6.  If you are truly concerned about the state of her emotions, home, children, or marriage, offer practical help to ease her burden.  Personal time is at a premium for her, so consider offering to take her kids for the day so she can recuperate.  If you like to do laundry, offer to come over and get the loads going, fold, and/or iron.  If you like to cook, consider putting together some meals that she can store in the freezer for days when time is at a premium.  If she teaches a broad spectrum of ages and grades, consider offering to come in once a week or more to teach preschool to the little ones.  One grandma I know created "Nana U" for her preschool grandson (number five of seven) and not only did it ease her homeshooling daughter's burden, it created a special bond between grandma and the child. But there’s a caveat here: ASK her what would be most helpful to her.  Don’t presume to know what would help her.  Taking the oldest children for the day might be fun for you, but it’s quite possibly not at all helpful to her.  The living room might need to be vacuumed, but it’s not helpful if she’s trying to take a nap.  Someone once told me, “If it’s not wanted, it’s not helpful.” 7. Think about what a financial burden homeschooling may be placing on the family.  The loss of her possible income can be a real struggle nowadays, and you might be able to buoy her for another year by offering to purchase little things like simple school supplies.  Gifts for the children like books on subjects of interest to the child, field trip fees, museum memberships, and the money to pay for music lessons or other extracurricular activities are the best thing you could give a homeschooling family.  Not only does a homeschooling mom not need one more thing to manage or pick up, she would be thrilled to see you take an interest in the many academic items on her wish list. 8. Simple questions like, "How can I pray for you?" and "Is there any way I can help you?" are like a cool breeze in her life.  Don't assume you know her needs- ask.  You could just be the vessel God uses to carry her on through this very demanding and ultimately rewarding season of her life.  

One of the perks of living in the Golden State- poinsettias from a nearby nursery

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas month. I'll be taking the month of December off from the Preschoolers and Peace blog, but will look forward to being back with you all in January, 2007. Wow! Can you believe it???

Please remember to pray for Karen.

May Christ rule in your hearts as you go forward serving Him each day.

It’s Kendra’s Birthday!!!

In tribute to my best girlfriend here, in no particular order, are 36 of my favorite things about Kendra:

1)       She can down a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in no time flat

2)       She doesn’t focus on externals

3)       She talks to my kids when they answer the phone

4)       She almost always has a solution to my organizing dilemmas

5)       She expects my kiddos to obey her

6)       She produced three daughters so I have little girlies to dote on

7)       She knows my history and loves me anyways

8)       She tells me when my, “slip is showing!”

9)       She rejoices over little things like dry Bob the Builder undies!

10)   She compliments my husband

11)   She fixes my knitting disasters

12)   She introduced me to Scharffenberger Chocolate

13)   She’s always willing to prepare a menu, complete with recipes, when I’m entertaining

14)   She’s always up for a trip to Bob’s at the Marina

15)   She shares all the best books she reads

16)   She figured out I was a Christian when she saw the Amy Grant CD in my hand!

17)   She throws great parties

18)   She’s almost always up late for an IM chat

19)   She gave me a box in her bathroom

20)   She brought headphones so I didn’t have to listen to Gregorian Chants during all-nighters at Denny’s

21)   She understands what my life is like

22)   She calmly talks me out of near nervous break downs when I think about teaching history

23)   She let me watch her give birth

24)   She answers my silly questions about cooking without laughing at me

25)   She’s real about her struggles

26)   She hates tomatoes, pickles, and coffee

27)   She understands when I tell my daughter someday she’ll be my best girlfriend

28)   She stocks Mountain Dew

29)   She’s my daughter’s biggest customer…and she doesn’t even like soap!

30)   She passed me chocolate in church when I was pregnant

31)   She doesn’t like to talk on the phone

32)   She knows my children’s struggles and encourages me as I encourage them

33)   She makes great chore charts, schedules, and school databases that I can just plug my kiddos into!

34)   She doesn’t mind me and my seven children just dropping in (or at least doesn’t show it!)

35)   She cried with me during the birth of my last child

36)   She truly has a peaceful home!

Happy Birthday dear friend; you truly are a gift from God to me!

Smidge

Please join me in wishing Kendra a happy, happy birthday! I know she’ll love to read your birthday wishes between dashes to the bathroom as she battles her morning sickness.

 

Thank you all for thinking of me and praying while I was in Whistler.  Such a bummer... two dear friends, great food, a year's worth of conversations, chocolate, scenery like this...

 

 

We decided this needs to be an annual trip