I touched briefly in a recent post on keeping little ones (big ones, too, when they need it) close by. Seems to be a subject at the forefront for me and other friends lately. After discussing this at length with Shawna, she sent me the following email:
So I have been eating up the Godly tomatoes stuff, so to speak. I would SO love to just have a consult with you, or with someone who is experienced here! Its funny how when you are given a lot of information, God shows you what He wants you to hear. That is how the Retreat was for me. I heard "Pray", and "look at your discipline... it's lacking!" So I've been observing Jilly and Jonathan these past few days, and wow, they totally do not obey me. I think the 2s kind of snuck up on me with these two. Discipline went fairly smoothly with Abraham and Amelia, and I have to say, they are pretty well trained. But I think when I only had one or two, I naturally trained more and kept them close because I simply had more time.
Now, I find myself way too often just disciplining the behavior that is absolutely intolerable, and then quickly turning my back to resume whatever urgent task I have to accomplish. And Kendra, their behavior has suddenly just turned so awful!! They can now open every door in the house... even if its dead-bolted. They can open every gate in the yard. They can circumvent the stair gate and go between the banister. Everytime I turn around, they are finding a pen and drawing on the wall, scooping water from the toilet, eating my lipstick or pumping out lotion, taking food out of the pantry and opening packages and helping themselves... they scale the cabinets in the school room and help themselves to paint. And whenever their will is thwarted in any way, they scream and cry and carry on. They do not come when I call. They do not stay where I put them. I am losing my mind. And they TOTALLY understand what is and is not OK... as is proven when I come around the corner and discover them...lets say pumping lotion and eating lipstick... and they scatter in opposite directions!
Do we need bootcamp, or what?? I've never had a problem being my children's authority, and letting my yes be yes and no be no. But having the two at once has really throw me off my game. I need a new strategy! So, I'm trying to figure out how its all going to flesh out here. What it really is going to look like. I wish I could see it in action. I have practiced a little with making everyone sit in one place, and its a lot of disciplining... but they did it. And now when I tell them "Sit!" they do... although with crying. And Jillian is so willful.
One question I have is, how long does "boot camp" usually last? When do you know it is over? And really, how do you keep your toddlers with you ALWAYS? Do you ever let you bigger kids just go play? And with what parameters? Do you unplug the phone??
The kitchen is the area where I see this being the most challenging. The rest of the house, and with my other chores, no problem. And, I really look forward to having them with us in the school room, and teaching them to be included but with proper behavior. The kitchen, however, that's hard. I already don't like being in the kitchen myself. (Pre kids, I used to love to cook...) Cooking and cleaning up is my least favorite chore, which is too bad because I am in the kitchen so much. My kitchen, as you know, is small and we have a separated floor plan. When I am in the kitchen, I pretty much can't see them in the rest of the house.
And when I'm in the kitchen is when they do their best work destroying the house! So anyway, I'm trying to figure out how I can have them in there with me, without losing my mind. What will they be doing? How long can I expect them to do it?
Anyway, if you have time, I'd sure appreciate any feedback you can offer. What would you do in my house, with my situation? Again, Abraham and Amelia do quite well. They just need consistent training and input to maintain their good behavior. So many people would tell me "just let them grow out of it... this too shall pass... they are only 2!" What say you? Am I expecting too much? The Godly Tomato lady doesn't think so.
Thanks for the great resource and the inspiration. Tomorrow I'm off to chase toddlers around a fire pit with burning marshmallows. Should be very relaxing!
Until later,
Shawna
Part two of our dialog tomorrow...
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I received this email recently and knew it had to be shared. Mystie's story has lit a fire under me to get going on some new CDs for my little ones!
Kendra,
I've been doing circle time with my two boys since my oldest was 2 1/2,
ever since I saw the suggestion on preschoolersandpeace.com. We were
working on Psalm 1 and the Catechism for Young Children. However, we got
out of our groove while we were in the process of moving, I was in the
first trimester, and then our renovations of the house we bought got
delayed and we were living in chaos -- and no kitchen -- for a month.
So, things were crazy and memory stuff didn't get worked on. I
remembered your suggestion for recording a "Mommy CD" and so as I was
putting together goals and a plan for this coming year, I made a CD with
everything I wanted to accomplish in the next year or year and a half:
the entire catechism (145 questions), the Apostle's Creed, the Ten
Commandments, the Lord's Prayer, Psalm 139, and a few others. Then I
filled the rest of the CD with songs and stories. My oldest has been
listening to it for a month during his quiet time and we began our new
routine last week. We hadn't hardly worked on the Apostle's Creed before
and he was saying it by himself on the second day; not only that, but he
had also vastly improved on his catechism answers, just by hearing it
every day. Today I decided to introduce the next three questions and
answers (Q&A 31-33) and he immediately answered them and only needed a
little help with his pronunciation! So I decided to keep going to see
just how much he'd already picked up and he got through Q&A 138 before
requesting to stop and use the bathroom. :) He needed some promptings on
quite a few (especially reciting the Ten Commandments) but only
completely missed 7.
Ok, so I'm bragging to you and I don't even know you and you don't know
me, but I just wanted to tell you that I am very grateful for your
suggestions on preschoolersandpeace.com and suggest to you that you
emphasize that Mommy CD more, because it really works! Also, ever since
I made it for him, he's been eager for quiet time and doesn't complain
about going down. Some days he even asks at 10 in the morning if he can
go take his quiet time and listen to his CD. :) Now I'm starting to
think I might have to buy a little CD player for my 2-year-old and make
him a CD, too. :)
Thank you!
Mystie
pelennorfields.com/mystie
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Why did it take me seven babies to figure this one out?
All these years I've done what the baby furniture manufacturers wanted me to do and faithfully changed my babies on their changing table/dresser. Then had stinky diapers in their room if I didn't get them taken out to the garbage. Then called another child to pleeeease bring me a plastic bag to put the grossest diapers into. Then called the same or another child to fetch the antibacterial wipes in the event of a blow-out. Etcetera.
Our home has a laundry room upstairs with a nice long counter top and a sink. I finally got smart and made a baby changing station there. This has been such a time saver and so convenient to have the sink readily accessible. I can also pitch dirty clothes right into the washer or hampers.
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But we didn't always have such a nice set-up, and I am betting many of you don't necessarily, either. Still, I can think back to our little (as in 600-square-feet little) apartment in San Francisco and see in my mind a place where a baby changing station could have been created quite nicely. Even having a large tub or basket stocked for every possible scenario would be great. A portable station might work well in some homes, too; you could have a clean towel folded neatly into the tub for the baby to be changed upon, and stock the tub with wipes, rash ointment. fingernail clippers, baby shampoo, washcloths, and diapers. And a little dark chocolate. I don't think there's a situation in which dark chocolate doesn't come in handy 
Kendra,
I have really appreciated reading your blog and have been encouraged. I have three little ones 4.5, 2.5 and 16 mos. I am having challenges with transition time: while I finish lunch clean up is a big one. The toys were put away before lunch, we are getting ready to read before naps, but the little ones are at loose ends while I read to others. Do you have any suggestions? I try to avoid letting everyone drag out toys because the time can be quick- although if things go haywire, it could be 30-40 minutes before i read to the oldest. What can I give someone to do while they wait their turn? I am sure there is an easy solution, I just cannot see it from here in the trenches right now. Thanks for all your helpful suggestions online. Your time in blogging is certainly appreciated. ~Annie McCorkle
Hi Annie-
Good question! From my vantage point, it seems like you're trying to do separate activities with each one, is that right?
With the ages of your young ones, I would say that the best thing you could do is to keep everyone together and everyone with you as much as possible. I am trying to think back to when I had three the ages of yours- what did I do then? Well, most likely the 16-month-old was confined somehow while I was cleaning the kitchen. He would have been in the high chair with blocks or some other diversion, or in the excer-saucer, or jumper. The two-year-old would have been sitting on our little step stool right at my feet, stacking Tupperware or something similar. And the four-year-old would have been given the title of “assistant”, clearing the table and doing other little helpful tasks- throwing away napkins or trash, wiping down the table, etc.
Once the kitchen was done to a reasonable state (I used to save the deep kitchen cleaning until after dinner when Daddy could supervise the kiddos), we would then all move on to reading and napping. Likely the 16-month-old would be ready to just go right down, while the two and four would be with me on the couch reading and cuddling.
As far as an easy solution, I really believe that keeping your little gang together will be the best thing both short term and long. If having them right near you is a daunting idea, take heart. I myself am an introvert who needs daily solitude and the idea of having my little ones at my side for the better part of the day was not initially appealing. The fruit, however, convinced me that the sacrifice was well worth it. Still is. My littles are at my side or the side of an older sibling most of the time, and my older ones get pulled in from time to time when the need arises. I’ll be blogging on that soon.
Hope that’s helpful!
Probably most of you know about pureeing your own baby food and freezing it in ice cube trays. Saves a lot of money, especially if you can get overripe fruit from a local fruit stand or grocery store.
I wanted to share this photo with you because believe it or not, it actually has sentimental value for me. My 96-year-old grandfather was a tree surgeon back in Hollywood's heyday, and he served clients such as the Gabor sisters and Frank Sinatra. He has wonderfully funny stories to share about Hollywood celebs he worked for, and my mom remembers trick-or-treating in those lavish neighborhoods where the candy was presented on silver trays.
Anyway, just this summer my grandfather finally lost the ability to properly tend his beloved vegetables, and he sent a beautiful butternut squash up my way via my mom. I popped it in the oven, cooked it until tender, then pureed it and froze it for Christian. When he begins to eat solids soon, his first meal will be my grandfather's last squash.