If you didn't already know, my husband has quite a sense of humor...
While at the aquarium, we remarked over and over at the marvelous creativity of the Maker of all...
I really like your circle time idea. I'm curious, do you do this every day? What about days when you have morning activities or errands?
Melissa
Hi Melissa-
Yes, we do Circle Time most days, except Saturdays and Sundays. It's just part of the ebb and flow of our lives now. As for days when we need to be somewhere in the morning, we consider prayer to be our Circle Time before we head out the door, resuming other things we missed (like memory work or Scripture reading) during lunch when we can chat.
We're not perfect. We do miss a day here and there. But by and large Circle Time is so foundational for us that we would miss it if it disappeared altogether.
Peace-
Kendra
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Circle Time seems to be a popular topic, and because it wasn't my original idea, I can humbly say it's a good one!
I recently received an email from Tai:
We have two children thus far: a four-year-old boy and a sixteen-month-old girl. We are going to be doing some preschool-type stuff this year with our son who is going to be home-schooled. Sorry for the long intro…
My main question (at this point) is do you use a note book along with your memory box during circle time? How do you incorporate the two? It seems, at least the way I understand it, that the two have the same material in them?? Also, do you bring your little ones into circle time? We typically do everything together. At nap time I read a short story with both of them, then put the baby down and read a longer story or two to my four year old. I don’t know if should put her in play pen time (by the way love the hoola hoop, going to be getting one of those) or if I should have her stay with us on the floor? Thanks for your insight. I know you must be very busy with seven children and a husband to care for. I appreciate your time.
In Christ,
Tai
Q. Do you use a note book along with your memory box during circle time? How do you incorporate the two? It seems, at least the way I understand it, that the two have the same material in them??
I think the memory box and the binder are pretty interchangeable, but I will go into a little more detail about what is contained in each.
The Memory Box currently contains:
Keep your expectations low and realistic. You've got at least fourteen more years of Circle Time with your son, so you certainly don't need to tackle that entire list above right now. And as baby grows bigger, your Circle Time will expand, too.
Peace,
Kendra
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- National Geographic President Cards
- National Geographic Landmark Cards
- Bible verses, written on 3x5 index cards
- Greek Alphabet cards
- The Catechism for Young Children
- short poetry
- the Ten Commandments
- the books of the Bible
- Elisabeth Elliot devotionals I think we all need to hear
- John Piper devotionals I think we all need to hear
- Lists of memory verses printed out for specific children
- lengthy poetry
- Dolch's 2,000 Most Common Words for Spelling
- a running list of things I want us to memorize
Keep your expectations low and realistic. You've got at least fourteen more years of Circle Time with your son, so you certainly don't need to tackle that entire list above right now. And as baby grows bigger, your Circle Time will expand, too.
Peace,
KendraWe had a little funeral here last week. Our nine-year-old's beloved "Minn" died unexpectedly, and he was one sad boy. So the children and I gathered ourselves for a funeral by the pond. The oldest boy read a eulogy (I had to keep from giggling) and we said our goodbyes.
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One of the girls dressed for the service...
Minn's sad caretaker...
And Minn's roommate Timmy said goodbye, too...
Well hello Kendra,
As you can tell, I have not been spending a tremendous amount of time on the computer these past days...all for a very good reason!
But I wanted to write and say thank you for your quick response to my SOS. I really, really appreciated it.
I also wanted to let you know that things are improving around here, and that Tomato Staking really does work... even with "twins." I have had to be a little adaptive in order to keep them both with me all the time, but I'm figuring it out. I think the most eye-opening thing for me as I have practiced keeping them nearby is just how much rebellious behavior is overlooked when you banish your children to "time out" or their cribs/bedrooms. When your solution to bad behavior is "you will now sit right here with me", it's kind of hard to ignore the raging and screaming. And much to my amazement, two-year-olds are capable of turning off the screaming... eventually... if I will outlast them (last week we missed Sunday School completely, as we outlasted Jillian through a huge raging tantrum right before we loaded into the car... it was a great investment). AND, when I have won a few of these battles, the other areas of disobedience are also improving. Jonathan is starting to come when I call him (this is miraculous). Jillian has stopped climbing the stairs in the relentless pursuit of toothpaste and lipstick.
I've also starting having short periods of "mat time"... originally for discipline purposes where I had them sit on their Montessori mats until they stayed without screaming. Then, I allowed them to choose one book and stay on their mat. These last few days, I've been calling for "mat time" and they take out their mats and sit with a toy for about 5 minutes, and then I give them a new toy, and so on, for about 15 minutes. THIS is very hopeful, as I can see some light at the end of the tunnel for our schooling now. I've also moved a rocking chair into our school room and have been practicing reading aloud to everyone, allowing J & J to play quietly, but NOT help themselves to the art supplies, or climb anything, or go outside, or leave the room, or rip the book from my hands, or be violent, or scream and cry... you get the idea. The first day, I had to stop reading our short book no less than 10 times for discipline... but its improving.
I've actually had to totally rethink the way I do my entire day. I took to heart what you said about meals, and we have gone really simple. I am using my crock pot almost every day, and I prep while the kids have breakfast and J &J are strapped in their seats. I tasked Abraham and Amelia to do more kitchen chores, training them to do it well, and that frees me up to take J &J upstairs with me to start laundry, make beds, put away folded clothes, etc., all of which they can participate with. Amelia scrubs the kitchen table and sweeps underneath, and Abraham loads the dishwasher. Its been working great. In the evening, Amelia sets the table, and I put J &J back in the highchairs for about 15-20 minutes of table play time while I open the bag of salad, or whatever other final quick dinners preps need to be done. They hate it, but that is OK... I think eventually they'll learn not to throw all their crayons on the floor. They'd prefer to be climbing the stairs and playing in the toilet... dinner prep has been their favorite time of day!
Anyway, sorry for the long play-by-play. But things are improving, and I just wanted you to know. I CANNOT emphasize enough the value of taking some time to think and make a plan. You are so right. I would tell any mom who is losing her mind that if there is anyway that she could take a day to think, plan, make a schedule, consider doing things in a different way, seek some input, and PRAY, wow, that would be time well spent. I'll keep you posted on how things go from here. I so appreciate you and all you have offered to me and so many others through P&P.
Thanks again,
Shawna
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Hi Shawna-
Gosh, I like you :) Your honesty is refreshing, and you seem very balanced and healthy.
Yes, this is very, very hard. Wouldn’t it be easier to put them in preschool and let someone else deal with it? Yes. That’s why so many moms do it. Let’s be honest- preschool isn’t about getting an education.
This has been a crazy week, and so I need to answer you systematically tonight or my brain can’t process anything. So here goes:
First of all, the situation you have with Jilly and Jonathan is something that happens to me with every child. It’s like I’ve not been paying attention and suddenly the light bulb goes on and I think, “Hey! He’s not obeying me!” And then boot camp begins.
Boot camp can last as long as a month (!) and as short as a day. Depends on the child and what exactly we’re working on. For yours, I would let up only when I see some lasting improvement in basic obedience. Then expect relapses. I think what most people don’t realize is how looooonnnngggg this process of discipling is. Precept upon precept, day by day, week by week, year by year. The good news is that while the days are long, the years fly by. This too shall pass. How many more clichés do you think I can pack in that paragraph?
My older kids have a lot more freedom. We learned something very valuable from Growing Kids God’s Way: the idea of the inverted funnel. When children are very young, their measure of privilege is very narrow- the neck of the funnel. As they grow older, more faithful, more responsible, the measure of privilege broadens, like the widening part of a funnel. That is why the older two are finally playing a team sport and can have some freedom in friendships. But the younger ones have differing privileges based upon what we’re observing or what they’re working on in their lives. The six-year-old is not in any classes except our tennis class we all take together. She also is super, super social and tends to cling to other women and older girls and so I guard that very closely. I don’t want anyone else capturing her heart but her daddy and me. So until I know she is completely faithful to me, she stays with me at church and I pour extra physical affection on her so that she’s not looking for approval from outside our family.
As for your kitchen... That’s tough... But if I were you, I would do everything I could to prep meals when the little ones are napping or otherwise occupied. You just don’t have the space. So here’s what I’m thinking- how would this work? During breakfast prep, they must sit on chairs where you can see them. To give them victory quickly, plan to make breakfast either super simple (cereal) or pre-done (muffins) until you see that you can trust them to stay put. During lunch prep, plan some meals for a few weeks that can involve them all, like peanut butter spread on celery (Abraham can do this), grapes (Amelia can wash them), crackers and cheese (J and J can dump the crackers in a bowl while you slice cheese- or buy it pre-sliced just for this!). And dinner... I would have something going in the crockpot and a simple salad and store bought bread or a meal you can entirely prep while they are napping. While I believe “It’s a stage- they’ll grow out of it” is a terrible cop-out, I also think there are seasons in which we can take an easier route in some areas, as long as training is still occurring and we’re not ignoring the problem altogether.
Remember the section on pausing in my talk? I firmly believe that when we are parenting and training at this level, we moms need rest. So don’t feel guilty if during boot camp you need to park them in front of a video. 30 minutes of something good while you fold laundry, or pick up your computer and check email, or read through the Psalms, or sip iced coffee (or chai ;D) in the same room as the video watchers might be what gets you through to the next thing.
I’ll keep walking alongside you in this!
~Kendra
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