Today begins the first in a series I'm calling Homeschooling Moms Who Have Influenced Me. I hope you'll glean good things from them, too. At the end of each interview, post a comment about something you felt was applicable to your own homeschool and you will be entered into a drawing to win something wonderful from each of the women I interview! How's that for encouragement? Ann Voskamp is a mom and writer who has given her gifts in the form of books our family has delighted in. You can read her blog, Holy Experience, and be encouraged to seek Jesus anew each day. 1. Tell us about your family. ~Darryl and I are high school sweethearts; it's always been just us. We laugh that I am his Rebekah: He was my Dad's hired farmhand for nearly five years before we were married. Darryl is the youngest of nine in a family whose spiritual heritage goes back as far as is known. I am the oldest of four, a first generation Christian, saved at fourteen. Mercy and grace is fresh and dazzling in my life; I remember life B.C., the time in my life before Christ. God has bestowed 13 years of a marriage I could only have dreamed of, 6 exuberant children (Caleb 12, Joshua 10, Hope 8, Levi 6, Malakai 4, and Shalom 2), and a good, quiet life in the country working His land. It is a gloriously crazy life where sometimes I feel like it's all whirling a tad off kilter--but we are all together, three meals a day, and our exquisite God is in the center, so it is all so very good. 2. How did Holy Experience come about? ~I simply wanted a quiet place to scratch down His story on the pages of our lives, a listening place to hear what He wondrously speaks into our very common days, making these days hallowed and holy, because He is here.... 3. How do you think moms can grasp the idea of living a spiritual life as opposed to having a "Bible Time" as part of school? ~This, for me, is at the heart of what kind of life I am praying to live. I don't want to box up God into a "quiet time," as if that is the only place I can meet Him. I want Him to flood all of the messiness and craziness and beauty of every moment of my day. I think everyone wants that. But what does that look like? What does that really mean? For me, the notion is encapsulated in the thought of a One-piece life. A one piece fabric. No fragmenting. No tearing. No seams. My existence yearns to be just that: a life of one piece, God woven through the laundry, and the cooking, the walk down the lane, the changing of diapers, the learning gathering times, the times when I feel engulfed by it all. “Now the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece. They said therefore to one another, ‘Let us not tear it…’ (Jn 19:23). Too long, the fabric of this life of mine was torn up into secular and sacred, "Bible time" and "to-do list" time. Yet such a dichotomy is mere façade, mirage. "The Bible makes no room for the idea of the secular. In biblical worldview, there is only the sacred and the profane, and the profane is just the sacred abused, unkempt, trampled down, trivialized, turned inside out. It is just the holy treated in an unholy way.” ~ Mark Buchanan I have profaned the sacred, treated the holy in an unholy way. There are times, I still do. But I am prayerfully purposing to walk towards all of life as sacred ground, all of life as hallowed--because God is here, everywhere. For me, it is about holistic living. We know that our health is not limited to just what we eat, or just if we exercise, or just where we live, or only what medications or vitamins we take, but it is about being a whole person--all of those elements factor into our being healthy. To live a spiritually holistic life, one can't simply have "Bible time" and expect to nourish an intimate relationship with Jesus. It is about keeping company with Jesus for the other 23 hours of the day, speaking with Him, singing to Him, praying to Him, calling out to Him, resting in Him--living in Him. There is no divide between holy and sacred. God wove life to be seamless, a tunic like Jesus’: one piece. For all is in Him. “In God…we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). “Where can I go from Thy Spirit? Or where can I flee from Thy presence” (Ps. 139:7). Some may think of this as "Practicing the Presence of God"--but to do that we have to practice being *aware* of the presence of God. He *is* already here--we just need to wake up. We do not have to practice *making* Him present--He walks this moment with us. His word is not confined only to a quiet time for “they are not just idle words for you—they are your LIFE”( Deuteronomy 32:47). Life is our liturgy. *All* of Life is our time with God. 4. How do you bring the littlest ones into the spiritual ebb and flow of your days? ~ For us, we simply bring these little children with us, to Him whom we love. We worship Jesus around each meal gathering, closing the meal with the reading of Scripture, singing hymns, praying together--feasting on Living Bread. From the time little ones join the table gathering, they learn to feast from His table: always God's Word, a hymn, prayer. We learn to hunger after Jesus too, to have an appetite for Jesus. As a family, we memorize chapters of Scripture together, Dad leading us in review at the close of every meal. Darryl photocopies the 4 new verses we are learning for the week,and the review sheet, and even gives little non-readers their own sheet to put in their pockets for "review" throughout the day--so they feel a part of our seeking to make His Word our life. Throughout the day, we endeavor to keep company with Jesus: we pray for lost toys, and sibling squabbles, and for Mama to have grace, and for diligent hands and focused minds, and for forgiveness for blustery words...and for Mama to have grace. We try to remember, and gently remind ourselves aloud often, that "Christ is the head of this House, the unseen guest at every meal, the silent listener to every conversation." I don't pack my time in Scripture into an "away time", but an "in the midst time," primarily because I want our children to see that we hold unto Jesus in the midst, that His Word comes with us into the messiness of everyday life. So little ones color pictures in their own "prayer journals" in the morning, while the olders and I write in our own prayer journals and read from His Word. And come day's end, we tuck little ones in, pray together, bless each child and offer a Little Pillow. We begin in Him, we live in Him, we end in Him. We are a broken family, sin-marred. And yet we are, staggeringly, beloved of the Beloved One. We are learning and seeking to make the wonder of grace and mercy, His unmerited love, seep through every fibre of our beings, and moment of our days, living out the hope of the Gospel: not that we are perfect, but that His Grace perfectly saves us. 5. What are the most important things new homeschooling moms should know? . ~ I've botched much on this homeschooling journey, and He is abundantly gracious to take my messes and use them for good. Two fundamental things I wish I knew when I began: ~ Do not try to replicate the institution of school. Light yourself to the wonder of each day, what *God* would have you discover, to a holistic life of learning and curiosity, service and love. I am still very much in process in this regard, but we are determined to infuse our days with the wonder of God, and the fantastic creativity He's expressed in the world all around us, to the purposes He made us for. Read living literature, listen to music, dance, create, make, study art, go for long walks, explore, research, discover, serve, give, sacrifice. Let God out of the box we make for Him, and think out of the box. Listen to His Holy Spirit as You homeschool--not scopes, sequences, or curriculum catalogues. Don't escape the world when you homeschool, or live in a homeschooling "ghetto" where all of your interactions are only with other homeschoolers. Christ called us to be in the world but not of the world, to be a light of love. Make sure your homeschooling mission includes answering Christ's Great Commission to go into all the world, to be His hands and His feet to a hurting, wounded, seeking world. Formative books on our journey: ~John Taylor Gatto's "Dumbing Us Down," Schaeffer Macaulay's "For the Children's Sake," Andreola's "Charlotte Mason Companion," Bluedorn's "Teaching the Trivium," this piece... And this absolute must-read article, which I read again, and again, and so wish I had in the beginning. ~That homeschooling is not a formula for perfection, that homeschooling is not a panacea for all the sin in this world. Your heart is flawed, broken, cracked, and your children are born sinners. Homeschooling will not fix that. Only Jesus and His *grace* can. And He will use homeschooling as your crucible, to reveal your impurities and your sinfulness, and the brokeness of your home. Homeschooling will hurt. It will disappoint. You will cry and wonder if you are insane to try to educate these children, to disciple these little hearts, while laundering, cooking, cleaning, managing a household, and still being a wife, a sister, a daughter, a missionary in your community, a servant to Christ and in your faith community. And He will smile and say that He walks with you, has grand and glorious purposes, and He understands radical and crazy! Homeschooling *is* about going higher up and deeper in, for you will learn to sacrifically love in ways you have never loved before. You will know your own heart in ways you never imagined, the souls of your children in intimate, very real ways. For you will *be* together, making memories together, laughing together, crying together, praying together, and asking forgiveness together. Throughout your day, you will worship God, together. And you'll learn to die to self together. There will be no fragmented scraps of learning, home-life, friends, work, God. You will make a one-piece life--hallowed threads of parenting, love, education, living, creativity, wonder, sacrifice, and God all woven together. You'll wear it, and it will fit: Grace, Love, Gratitude. ~~~ With warm love... Ann Thank you, Ann, for being so generous with your time and answers. Ann is offering your choice of her excellent books for someone here, so go take a look and then be sure to comment below! We'll close the drawing at midnight on Sunday, October 7, 2007. A Child's Geography A Child's Geography- Explore the Holy Land The Glorious Coming- A Jesse Tree Advent Celebration
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Hi Kendra,
I'm always especially interested in your posts on very young children as I have
a 2 1/2-year-old daughter. I wondered if you have ever run into this issue and
could share any insight?
When I initially began reading the Bible, Bible stories, books with Christian
values, etc. and praying with my daughter, she was very receptive to it.
However, in the last couple of months, she wants nothing to do with discussion
or stories about God or Jesus (although she will still say her mealtime and
bedtime prayers and still talks about God and Jesus herself). She just starts
whining or yelling or says "No, I don't want to!" "Don't read that!" or
something along those lines. I really want to start implementing a circle time
or devotions or short reading from the Bible with her daily (it would just be
her and I). I've really tried to keep it "fun" and interesting and not been pushy at all. Is this just a phase? How do I
handle this? Any ideas as to what could be causing this resistance to anything
God-related? (I should mention she loves being read to with any other type of
books).
Thanks so much and I look forward to an answer. I know you are a very busy
lady!
In Christ,
Kathy
Dear Kathy,
I titled this post the way I did because of course children have minds of their own! But that doesn't mean they know what's best for them, and that's why God set up families with parents to nurture and guide the young. You should continue reading to her about her God, but maybe you need to change your approach for a little while.
My first thought is that maybe you need to just read to her the books about God, the stories from the Bible and the like, but forget any discussion. Maybe if you're asking her questions about the stories, she feels pressured and uncomfortable. Just allow these reading times to be casual and informal, a part of the spiritual ebb and flow of your days.
I would also talk very naturally about God as you go about your day. When the rain softly falls, say something like, "Look, honey! That beautiful rain is a gift from God so that all the flowers and plants will live." Or, "Daddy is coming home soon. Isn't God good to have given us such a wonderful daddy?" Your observations of the goodness of God will foster her own.
Blessings,
Kendra
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Thursday mornings are muffin breakfasts, usually served with fruit or applesauce. Last week we tried a new one, and we all agreed this recipe is a keeper! Note that we used three different kinds of sweeteners because we are experimenting with both unrefined sugars and sugar alternatives. When you see these in the recipe, you can certainly substitute what we used for white sugar. We won't hold it against you 
Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins
Makes 3 dozen
2 c sucanat
2 1/2 c soft whole wheat flour (or a combo of whole wheat/all-purpose)
4 t cinnamon
2 t baking soda
1 t salt
6 eggs, divided
1 1/2 c coconut oil
2 c canned pumpkin
16-oz cream cheese, softened
2/3 c Xylitol
Combine 2 cups sucanat, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt, 4 eggs, oil, and pumpkin; set aside. In a separate bowl, combine cream cheese, Xylitol, and remaining eggs. Pour pumpkin mixture into greased muffin cups, filling 2/3 full. Place a heaping teaspoon of cream cheese filling in the center of each muffin. Sprinkle each with one teaspoon of topping mixture (see below). Bake at 350 degrees for 15-18 minutes.
Topping:
1/2 c Turbinado
1/2 t cinnamon
6 T flour
4 T butter
Combine until crumbly.
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Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins
Makes 3 dozen
2 c sucanat
2 1/2 c soft whole wheat flour (or a combo of whole wheat/all-purpose)
4 t cinnamon
2 t baking soda
1 t salt
6 eggs, divided
1 1/2 c coconut oil
2 c canned pumpkin
16-oz cream cheese, softened
2/3 c Xylitol
Combine 2 cups sucanat, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt, 4 eggs, oil, and pumpkin; set aside. In a separate bowl, combine cream cheese, Xylitol, and remaining eggs. Pour pumpkin mixture into greased muffin cups, filling 2/3 full. Place a heaping teaspoon of cream cheese filling in the center of each muffin. Sprinkle each with one teaspoon of topping mixture (see below). Bake at 350 degrees for 15-18 minutes.
Topping:
1/2 c Turbinado
1/2 t cinnamon
6 T flour
4 T butter
Combine until crumbly.Hi Kendra,
I have been reading your blog on and off for about a year now and it has been such a blessing to me. I am a mother of three, ages 4,2, & 1, and I hope to start homeschooling next year. I don’t know any women experienced in homeschooling, so I have really taken in your thoughts and advice as a woman dedicated to God and her family. Thank you!
This year I have started really getting organized with my house cleaning. It isn’t perfect but it is much better than it used to be. I finally realized that everyone is a lot happier, including mom, when they have meals on time, can find their clothes and can walk without tripping on something! Anyways, I have lists of different things that I do on different days to keep my house in somewhat of order and it basically keeps me pretty busy. So it is seeming overwhelming to add homeschooling to the daily load! Did you ever feel that way? Someone told me that if you homeschool you won’t have a clean house because there is just not enough time in the day and you just have to deal with that. I don’t want to deal with that because I get stressed out when the house isn’t in working order. I am not a neat freak at all, but I just want peace and order in my home. Is that possible? I would love to hear your thoughts on that.
Thanks for all you do!
Jamie
Hi Jamie-
Yes and no. Does that answer your question? 
This is an area where I struggle, because I really like things neat, tidy, and clean. But there are nine of us living here all day long, and so I have had to learn to give it up to a reasonable degree. What is reasonable? Well, sanitary and tidy tend to be my criteria, but as my dear friend Cheryl has told me before, a perfect home is not worth sacrificing the relationships we have with our children. Amen and amen again.
I have had to come to terms with the fact that my first three children are boys. They do not see what I see. One is decidedly more organized than his brothers, but he is a pack rat and is learning what to hold on to and what to let go. And what *I* think is a clean kitchen and what *they* think is a clean kitchen are two different things. Entirely.
So now I have changed my MO. I still require that beds be made and rooms tidied before breakfast. I still require chores that help maintain cleanliness as much as possible, such as wiping down toilets with anti-bacterial wipes and emptying the trash. But I have also created a list that helps me to "hit" each room on a rotating basis to be cleaned out, decluttered, and put into some semblance of order. If it returns to disorganization within a few days, that's ok. I'll be getting back to it shortly.
I have written other posts in the past that address this topic, and I hope they are helpful on some level:
The Clean Team
How Can I Homeschool if I Can't Even Keep My House Clean? ( a reprint of an excellent article, but not written by me)
Large Family Logistics
Lastly, I am a huge proponent of hiring help, if it is within your means. Even if it is once a month to bail you out, consider it. We are one of a few nations who don't hire household help, and I think we women have come to believe that it is somehow shameful if we do. Nonsense! Think back in history- has there been a time when moms did all the laundry, did all the housekeeping, did the gardening or sewing or decorating, cooked three meals a day, did all the shopping, cared for and nursed the babies, drove children to appointments, and were solely responsible for the education of their children? When you see all of that in print, does it seem unreasonable to hire someone to help you? Are there young women at church who would be delighted to iron basic items for you for a quarter per piece? Or come alongside you as a mother's helper? Or weed, mow, or plant flowers? If you can get a few things off your plate, you might feel that the essential things like meals, laundry, household cleanliness, and school aren't quite so unreachable.
Blessings,
Kendra
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This is an area where I struggle, because I really like things neat, tidy, and clean. But there are nine of us living here all day long, and so I have had to learn to give it up to a reasonable degree. What is reasonable? Well, sanitary and tidy tend to be my criteria, but as my dear friend Cheryl has told me before, a perfect home is not worth sacrificing the relationships we have with our children. Amen and amen again.
I have had to come to terms with the fact that my first three children are boys. They do not see what I see. One is decidedly more organized than his brothers, but he is a pack rat and is learning what to hold on to and what to let go. And what *I* think is a clean kitchen and what *they* think is a clean kitchen are two different things. Entirely.
So now I have changed my MO. I still require that beds be made and rooms tidied before breakfast. I still require chores that help maintain cleanliness as much as possible, such as wiping down toilets with anti-bacterial wipes and emptying the trash. But I have also created a list that helps me to "hit" each room on a rotating basis to be cleaned out, decluttered, and put into some semblance of order. If it returns to disorganization within a few days, that's ok. I'll be getting back to it shortly.
I have written other posts in the past that address this topic, and I hope they are helpful on some level:
The Clean Team
How Can I Homeschool if I Can't Even Keep My House Clean? ( a reprint of an excellent article, but not written by me)
Large Family Logistics
Lastly, I am a huge proponent of hiring help, if it is within your means. Even if it is once a month to bail you out, consider it. We are one of a few nations who don't hire household help, and I think we women have come to believe that it is somehow shameful if we do. Nonsense! Think back in history- has there been a time when moms did all the laundry, did all the housekeeping, did the gardening or sewing or decorating, cooked three meals a day, did all the shopping, cared for and nursed the babies, drove children to appointments, and were solely responsible for the education of their children? When you see all of that in print, does it seem unreasonable to hire someone to help you? Are there young women at church who would be delighted to iron basic items for you for a quarter per piece? Or come alongside you as a mother's helper? Or weed, mow, or plant flowers? If you can get a few things off your plate, you might feel that the essential things like meals, laundry, household cleanliness, and school aren't quite so unreachable.
Blessings,
KendraKendra-
Just wondering if you have any good advice on
managing my home with a two-year-old who has almost grown out of naps
and a two-month-old who is a light sleeper. It is just the beginning
for me as far as family is concerned ( we hope!), so understanding
how to manage is very important to me. I just feel like I never get a
clear routine or even down-time at all because of my non-sleeping
children.
I could tell you a typical day, but you can probably
imagine when you think of one who rarely sleeps (and still doesn't
sleep through the night) and one who wakes up at any little thing,
even with music and the white noise machine going. Wow, I'm not
really sure how anything will ever get done, much less future
homeschooling! I'm sure you're overwhelmed with emails, so I'll
understand if your answer is brief, or takes a while to get back to me.
Thank you, and God bless you for your hard work as a mother, wife,
teacher, and disciple of Jesus!
Love, Allison
Dear Allison-
I have long said that the hardest time for me as a mother was when I had a two-year-old and a newborn. Truly, my seven are easier from day-to-day than your two are right now.
That said, can I give you some gentle advice? I wouldn't offer if you hadn't asked Those babies (yes, the two-year-old is a baby) need to sleep. I don't give any child under the age of five the option to drop a nap. Even if the almost-five-year-olds are ready to drop it, they still have to be on their beds resting for at least an hour and a half. When the day begins around 7 a.m. and ends around 8 p.m., it is a long time for a little one to go without sleeping. I know, because if ever I venture into a store in the afternoon, I encounter cranky, whiny, tired little ones. Little ones who ought to be home in bed.
I can't really imagine a two-year-old not sleeping through the night, and I am not saying that to be critical. I just so firmly believe in training babies to sleep though the night as soon as possible, and it's all I know. We do snuggle them in bed with us early on, we do comfort and hold them a lot, and love all over them. But I am a firm believer in flexibly scheduling a baby. The deal is, my newborns are always so sleepy that I have to wake them to feed them anyway; why not wake them on a schedule? By the time they are a little more wakeful- voila!- they are already on a schedule and on their way to dropping the middle-of-the-night feedings. By three months, they are sleeping 10-12 hours straight at night, with two daily naps of 90 minutes each, plus a cat nap in the early evening. And you know what? They are happy when they are awake because they are well-rested.
It's not too late to get the baby onto some sort of a schedule. If you need some help, there are good books out there, although I confess to not having read them: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems are the two I have been told positive things about. Preschoolers and Peace readers are so good about commenting and offering resources, so glean from that all you can. I know the debates inside and out (I've been doing this parenting thing for quite awhile now 
), so be forewarned that if a debate ensues in the comments here, I will delete them. We're trying to give Allison some help, not argue the different philosophies of demand feeding/schedule feeding/attachment parenting.
As for your two-year-old, all of my kids have gone through a stage when they thought they were done with naps. I just smile and say, "Have a good nap!" when I put them down. If they choose to talk/cry/scream/sing, then that's the choice they make. Eventually they tire out and get the picture: naps aren't optional here when you're a preschooler. If your two-year-old won't stay on their bed, read this. I have been there and done that, too!
You are right, Allison. Homeschooling might not be impossible if you don't have sleeping children, but it will certainly steal all the joy right out of your life. And accomplish very little. You need your sleep, too, mama.
Blessings,
Kendra
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Those babies (yes, the two-year-old is a baby) need to sleep. I don't give any child under the age of five the option to drop a nap. Even if the almost-five-year-olds are ready to drop it, they still have to be on their beds resting for at least an hour and a half. When the day begins around 7 a.m. and ends around 8 p.m., it is a long time for a little one to go without sleeping. I know, because if ever I venture into a store in the afternoon, I encounter cranky, whiny, tired little ones. Little ones who ought to be home in bed.
I can't really imagine a two-year-old not sleeping through the night, and I am not saying that to be critical. I just so firmly believe in training babies to sleep though the night as soon as possible, and it's all I know. We do snuggle them in bed with us early on, we do comfort and hold them a lot, and love all over them. But I am a firm believer in flexibly scheduling a baby. The deal is, my newborns are always so sleepy that I have to wake them to feed them anyway; why not wake them on a schedule? By the time they are a little more wakeful- voila!- they are already on a schedule and on their way to dropping the middle-of-the-night feedings. By three months, they are sleeping 10-12 hours straight at night, with two daily naps of 90 minutes each, plus a cat nap in the early evening. And you know what? They are happy when they are awake because they are well-rested.
It's not too late to get the baby onto some sort of a schedule. If you need some help, there are good books out there, although I confess to not having read them: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems are the two I have been told positive things about. Preschoolers and Peace readers are so good about commenting and offering resources, so glean from that all you can. I know the debates inside and out (I've been doing this parenting thing for quite awhile now ), so be forewarned that if a debate ensues in the comments here, I will delete them. We're trying to give Allison some help, not argue the different philosophies of demand feeding/schedule feeding/attachment parenting.
As for your two-year-old, all of my kids have gone through a stage when they thought they were done with naps. I just smile and say, "Have a good nap!" when I put them down. If they choose to talk/cry/scream/sing, then that's the choice they make. Eventually they tire out and get the picture: naps aren't optional here when you're a preschooler. If your two-year-old won't stay on their bed, read this. I have been there and done that, too!
You are right, Allison. Homeschooling might not be impossible if you don't have sleeping children, but it will certainly steal all the joy right out of your life. And accomplish very little. You need your sleep, too, mama.
Blessings,
KendraOur oldest daughter is eight, and she's just learning to iron. We began with pillowcases. She is enjoying ironing, so I will capitalize on that for awhile. I do think it's good for every child to have a stint at each household task so they become familiar with it, but I'm not into making them suffer through it if it's something they really detest. We try to utilize the strengths we have around here, so I tend to give organizational jobs to one child who's really good at that sort of thing and babysitting jobs to those who enjoy babysitting, etc.
When I mentioned her ironing to my friend Heather, she told me she has her girls learn to iron on their play dresses. What a great idea!
