I've Got Nothin'

So. Life with two-year-old and three-year-old BOYS.  (And six other children)  My mom would always say that babies born as close as my two little guys - 14 months apart - are harder than having twins, and so when I found out I was expecting Joe when Christian was just 5 months old, I contemplated lying right down on the floor of the bathroom and giving up. (not sure how that would work- giving up- but it sounded like a viable option at the time)

God always knows what He is doing.

I am confident in that fact.  I, however, rarely know what I am doing.

Last week I sat on a friend's couch watching the Giants pelt the Phillies and I told my struggles to both friends there with me. "I have this blog with all kinds of ideas for a mom like me, but I've got nothin'." They are kind, caring friends who love our family and they offered good ideas. In the midst of that conversation, however, I do believe I came to what I now know is a fact:

Sometimes, it's just hard and there's no solution.

For the past 17 years of child rearing and 13 years of homeschooling, I have been able to assess what isn't working in our home and tweak our plans, schedules, and general modus operandi.  Sometimes it took me several tries to get it right, but in the end we always emerged with a good day-to-day routine and my sanity.  Now?  Not so much. In the past week I've averted electrocution as I snatched the prong end of ear buds out of my 3-year-old's hand just a nanosecond before he shoved them into an outlet.  I've washed tea tree oil out of that same boy's eyes.  I've had to shower down the 2-year-old after he's twice stuck his hand in a dirty toilet. And on it goes.

This is a particularly difficult season for me, but I am not going to bore you with the details and many subtle nuances that make it so. I also realize that it will pass, and we are just a couple of years away from these two little boys not being such two little boys.  For now, I am praying a whole lot, still tweaking our daily routine to see if we can ease my stress, and pressing in to Jesus.  Daily I smack the palm of my hand to my forehead and say, "God, I've got nothin'."

 



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