Posts in Life with Preschoolers
Solutions for Circle Time: What Can the Under-Three Crowd Do?
After the Fall Circle Time post I received several inquiries as to how to keep the under-three crowd busy for all that time: "I like the idea of doing most subjects during Circle Time, but what do the little ones do during the 2 hours?" -Christy "...the challenge was how to manage my 4 and 1-year-olds. We don’t have TV, not that I’d stick them in front of endless videos anyway, but I’m just at a loss as how to occupy them, still be present for them, etc. I’d like to include them, but its distracting to the older children." -Kelly "I have introduced many of your ideas for our circle time, the only problem is that the attention span of my 2 year old boy is not long enough for my agenda! I have given him paper to practice cutting with scissors and paper to color on, but he still tires of sitting at the table for more than about 15 minutes. Should I just reduce my expectations for circle time until he is a little older?" -Jennifer You all think I have this completely figured out, don't you?  Excuse me while I go laugh for a sec.  :) Oh, but that's right- I write a blog on this subject, with the intent to give you some hope and strategies and ideas for this very situation.  So, here we go... We started our official school year on Monday.  I'm not sure what in the world I was thinking, but somewhere in my head I thought that our 18-month-old would be content for at least an hour at the table during Circle Time.  About 5 minutes into it, the thought, "Um,  Kendra?  How long have you been parenting that it didn't dawn on you that Christian would not be happy for all that time at the kitchen table???" arose.  Duh. Compounding the problem was the fact that I wasn't planning to have all of our Circle Time at the kitchen table, but was going to move upstairs to the schoolroom.  We don't own a high chair; instead the little guys sit in a chair that attaches to the table. But it doesn't attach to the schoolroom tables.  Duh number two. After three days of tweaking, scribbling down battle plans, and implementing new ideas, here's what I've come up with: During the first half hour, Christian can sit at the kitchen table with us.  We've just finished breakfast and he can be kept busy playing with a bowl and some kitchen tools.  He won't be silent.  I repeat, he won't be silent. Peace with preschoolers does not equal a quiet house, and Christian will make noise, try to frantically sign "please" 53 times during the course of Circle Time- hoping we'll let him out of his chair- grumble, whine, and even cry.  He's a preschooler!  But we forge ahead merrily, reminding him gently and sometimes sternly to wait, play with his toys, and stop fussing.  The key to training a little guy to sit happily is to communicate that this is what is required of him.  In other words, if we were to heed every complaint and give into every demand, we would effectively be training him that by complaining and demanding, he will get what he wants. During the second half hour, he goes into the playpen and watches a short video in another room, so the video doesn't distract everyone else.  Currently he's viewing Signing Time.

Playpen Time

Now, the solution to the third half hour came to us today in a moment of God-given inspiration and grace.  Our schoolroom is connected to our laundry room, which has doors on either end.  We shut the door between the laundry room and the hallway and errected a safety gate between the laundry room and the schoolroom.  Voila!  The perfect little playroom where he can enjoy our presence but stay contained and happily wander around doing what 18-month-olds do. Today it was yelling at the Wedgets when they wouldn't stack for him and playing with a box of clothespins. During the last half hour of Circle Time, big brother takes Christian with him while he gets a morning break from his own studies.  He's 15 and only joins us for the beginning of Circle Time, but 90 minutes later he's ready for a break himself.  He's been taking Christian outside for walks and has been thinking up other things for the two of them to do together as the days go by.

And there it is- two happy hours filled for one busy 18-month-old boy.  Our solutions might not work for you because we live in different houses with different children.  But this I know: God is faithful to give you answers, so if you're wondering how to constructively fill up those hours for your littlest ones, ask for wisdom and He shall give it freely.  He promises so.

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Life at the Beach
We've just returned from nine restful, enjoyable, beautiful days at the beach.  We were in Santa Cruz, land of hippies, drop-outs, and really great clam chowder in sourdough bowls.  I'll get into meatier, helpful posts this week regarding school and life, but indulge me just a tad as I share the lovely photos my husband took.

There was beach combing...

Laughter...

Brotherly/sisterly love...

Family photos...

And Mighty Joe...

For all its inherent wackiness, we couldn't be happier to be Californians.  Viva la playa!

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Training Little Ones in Church
Hi Kendra- We recently started attending a new church here in Singapore. We are the ONLY parents who bring our toddler (19-months) into the service. Generally speaking, he’s pretty good during the service, but I feel like we have to be extra considerate and quiet since we are the only ones. Do you have any good in-the-pew ideas for toddlers?? And, some at-home-training activities, too? We currently do quiet-play (chair time) for 1/2 an hour each day, and lots and lots of read-aloud time (at least two or three 20-minute sessions daily) during which Caleb has to sit still. Since our 2nd baby* is due in about 12 weeks, I feel like now is the time to really focus on Caleb’s training in this area Thanks! –Rebecca *Rebecca just gave birth to Annabelle Victoria on 8/27 Hi friend! Congrats on adding sweet Annabelle to your family! Sounds to me as if you're on the right track by a) being proactive and purposeful, and b) practicing sitting still at home. If I were in your shoes in a church where children aren't the status quo, I'd probably sit in the back for a while until Caleb is a bit older. Doubtless you'll need to be up once or twice during the service, and by sitting in the back you're more apt to bother fewer people. You know our church- about 15 kids for every adult, and all of them in the service. Even so, I have been sitting in the back these days because between Christian and Mighty Joe, there's just a lot of moving I have to do. As for things to do in the pew, I would really recommend that you don't start that now unless you want to be dealing with crayons dropping, pages tearing, etc. down the road. Quiet books are nice, but depending on the child they can be a short term solution. And once we tried Cheerios and were so sorry we started that! Ugh. The crying that ensued once the Cheerios were gone... Keep looking at the big picture! Sooner than you know Caleb will be taking sermon notes and you'll be so blessed to have him worshiping alongside of you. Peace, Kendra
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Is it OK to Rest?
Hi Kendra- I have four aged 7, 5, 3 and 1. I am pregnant with #5. We are a military family who moves every three years. My husband's hobby besides deploying is remodeling houses. I am responsible for all things related to house and yard upkeep as when hubby is gone it falls on me and it just seems to stay. Hubby remodels and that takes a lot of his free time. I do painting and clean up work for him. For the last two months my kitchen has been in rough shape. No stove for the last month. Anyway, just trying to paint a pic I guess of lots of activity here. I rarely have time to sit down. Now, I do read to my little people every day- probably at least an hour and a half so I do sit for that and I do have naps and rest each afternoon though I often find myself working while they rest to get dinner started or my desk cleaned off. My kids do work though now we are in lots of training mode. Often I get the kids to bed, do some laundry, clean my desk, plan for the next day, hop in the shower and drop into bed. So many people tell me to rest or take a break. Even my husband will tell me to sit down and yet when I do, something is not getting done. Usually it is something related to our finances that he wants to know that I can not do when the little people are awake. Part of me feels that I need to rest and yet I know how much more smoothly our day goes when I am ready for the new day. I guess my question is how do you take time to rest to feel rejuvenated? I know now with a newborn and a baby you might not be feeling that for awhile. I rarely socialize with others outside of church and do not talk on the phone very often. I try to read my Bible during nap time, but feel a bit stale in my Bible study. I am really happy with my life overall I just sometimes yearn for a bit of R and R. I know we should have relaxation time with our kids but do you think rest time either to crochet or blog or scrapbook is necessary and how do you factor the time into your busy life? Thanks so much, Megan Volmer Hi Megan- Yes, it is necessary to rest. Take a break. Clear the air. "Be still and know that I am God." "Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest." You have a very full plate in this season of your life, and probably have already had that sweet baby or are about to. While there isn't time to lounge by the pool for uninterrupted hours on end, there is always time to take a rest and not feel guilty about it. God instigated a day of rest from the beginning of time, and that day devoted to Him should be a definite change of pace and focus. Your time in worship, presumably on Sunday morning, is designed by God to bring glory to Him and impart His grace to you, provided you are in a church where worship is taken seriously. And while we mothers don't ever really get a whole Sunday to rest (there are still meals to make and clean up, diapers to change, etc.), we certainly can devote ourselves to switching gears and slowing down if only to honor the fifth commandment, and ultimately, our Lord and Savior. Ask Him to give you rest at the end of each day and once a week that will sustain and strengthen you for all that lies ahead. Peace, Kendra
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Attitude Adjustment
In Revamping Systems, Part Two I mentioned that I have changed my attitude regarding my responsibilities, my children's responsibilities, and what I can expect of them. This has been the single most effective change I've made in our home maybe ever, because the change was in my attitude, not in any system, training technique, or other similar means. My best friend Lisa was reading to her children the last book Bob Schultz wrote before his recent death, a book called Practical Happiness: A Young Man's Guide to a Contented Life. She called me one day and said, "Listen to this!" She went on to tell me about a chapter in which Mr. Schultz describes his disgruntled attitude upon arriving home each night, seeing the messes and what was unfinished and greeting his family with a scowl. God convicted him of his attitude, and of that Mr. Schultz wrote: "As I thought about my failure, He showed me how to get over it: accept every task in the house and on the grounds as mine... Someone may say this perspective is unrealistic. No one could be expected to do every job. But it's done so much good for our family and for me. I wish I had seen it earlier. I rarely wash dishes. That makes me all the more pleased with my useful daughters. I can't remember cooking a dinner. How I appreciate my wife's help! When she's doing my job, I can accept a meal that's a half hour "late". When would it have been on the table if I had made it?" Fabulous, isn't it? Yes, this house, these grounds, these children- all of these are my responsibilities and when I get some help, I am thankful! Like Mr Schultz, it is a rare occasion when I have to empty the dishwasher and now instead of grumbling when I do have that job to squeeze in, I am thankful that my seven-year-old does the dishwasher emptying on a regular basis. Boy, I wish I'd learned this one earlier. We still expect our children to pick up after themselves. We are still training them to create less work for others, not more. We are still teaching them life skills that they can take with them when they leave our home. But my attitude has changed from disappointment in the child-like results of their work to thankfulness that all these young people are pitching in to help lighten my load. Can I get an amen?
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Before and After the PICU, a Photographic History of the Garden
Before our 11 day stint in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, the kids were really seeing their garden boxes give a good yield. But when mama's gone, well... we tend to forget the care of some things, like the garden. I give you BPICU (Before Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) and APICU (After Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, naturally):

BPICU, all was peaceful in the garden. The tomatoes slowly stretched their way up the supports, the new and cheery birdhouse beckoned little birdies, and the chickens happily foraged with the promise of fresh eggs for our family...

APICU. Those tall things? They're weeds. There's stuff growing under them, but they're weeds. See the birdhouse behind them? Neither can I.

BPICU, girls gathered their bountiful Eightball Zucchini crop, enjoying thoughts of fresh zucchini bread nibbled upon for breakfast...

APICU. "Uh, Mom? What are those gigantic bowling ball thingies in my veggie box? And why do the leaves look dead?"

BPICU, lovely young ladies took pride in their rapidly growing bounty, nourished by the rich California soil and sunshine...

APICU. Does anyone know where Abby went? Abby? Abby?

BPICU, pumpkin vines grew lushly as the drip irrigation system lovingly installed by the grandfather fed their need for moisture.

APICU. WHOA! Attention all Fletcher children: the fall menu will consist of pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkin souffle, pumpkin soup, pumpkin cake, pumpkin waffles, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pasta, pumpkin sandwiches, pumpkin on toast, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin stir fry, pumpkin omelets... you know, when you write the word "pumpkin" over and over, it starts to look a little odd. Pumpkin.

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