Kathy is a gentle homeschooling mom of eight (most of whom are now adults) that I count as a sweet friend from church. Recently she shared at our homeschool encouragement day about her struggles through the years-- high expectations she had put upon herself and her journey to trusting the Lord to lead their homeschooling endeavors and days.
Thank you for sharing and being so willing to open your heart and be
transparent! I've been in that place SO many times over the years... and it's
always a struggle wrestling with what I think I should do and what I want to
do! Here's a few things we've done in years past. Hopefully, they'll
encourage you!!
1. I've set our usual stuff aside, kicked back in a comfy chair and read a
good book to the children... or better yet, got it from the library on tape.
The children can color or draw while I'm reading. After our reading time, we
discuss the book together, especially about the character's good and bad
qualities. Then later, I may have them write a short paragraph about
something they have learned from it, stand up before the family and share
something about the book they liked/learned, or fill out a book report
form/draw pictures.
2. Sometimes I'm too tired to read to them, so I have them read a good book
independently and do one of the above.
3. I've picked out a time period in history and gotten videos from the
library (or other sources) and just spent a week or so watching them. We did
this with Ken Burn's "The West" series and also his "Civil War" series. I
would usually have library books on the subject handy too. Then hopefully,
as the children's interest was pricked by the videos, they picked up the
library books and dug deeper on their own.
4. Some days, when I'm feeling very pressured, we do minimum school days.
This usually seems to happen when my housework or yardwork has finally
gotten so out of hand that I'm totally distracted by it. On these days,
everyone does their math, then we all clean house until things are back in
order... sometimes this takes a week or two!! The rest from the burden of
school planning and a clean house do wonders for me!! :)
5. Suspend all academic work and memorize sections of scripture for
awhile... the older ones can help the younger ones... with prizes for
word-perfect memory work as incentive. The fear of the Lord is the beginning
of wisdom!!
6. In desperate situations... often pregnancy induced :), we've just stopped
school for awhile. We may take two years to get through a one year textbook
or subject, but the children do well... sometimes retaining things better!
There are just times, for our own health and especially the health of our
unborn children, that we need to take a break and not let guilt rob us of
the rest our heavenly Father desires to provide. When Karis was born
(mid-April 1997), I tried to continue schooling afterward, but had trouble
nursing, struggled emotionally and finally gave up in exhaustion. I put
everthing away, and didn't begin again until Sept. It was a wonderful
much-needed break! The children loved it, our little baby thrived, and I was
refreshed and ready to begin again after my long rest!
Kendra, I hope this encourages and helps you somehow!!! I'm sure though, that
they're all things you've thought of. I guess if there's one thing I would
say looking back from this point in life, it would be: Ask the Lord to make
clear what He would have you to do. Talk with your husband and be open to
his counsel. And if lead to stop for a season and begin again later, trust
the Lord to work and instruct our little ones even when we are "resting".
Our God is faithful!!!
I'm still praying for you!!!!
In Him,
Kathy
------------------------
Those words are like a breath of fresh air, aren't they? Having gleaned from all of these ladies (and several others) that I needed to ask the Lord where to revamp, we have made a few changes:
1. Prayer. I am far more apt to drop my head into my hands and pray when I am feeling discouraged, tired or overwhelmed. And I know this is why God presses me-- I'm a can-do girl who tends to fall back on my own strength. It's never really worked well for me, but I'm just daft enough to need my gentle Shepherd to prod me back under His loving care.
2. I actually added two more things to Circle Time- history and science. Typically those subjects are done in the afternoon (history on Mondays and Tuesdays, science on Wednesdays and Thursdays), but taking them off the afternoon docket has been a good thing.
3. Caffeine. Lipton Blackberry Iced Tea sweetened with Xylitol. Yum.
4. Follow-through. I'm not certain this was mentioned by anyone, but it was definitely something that needed my attention. I'm working really, really hard at following-though on discipline, school work, and chores, even when it takes me 15 seconds to roll my big belly off the couch.
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More responses from generous friends:
Alas, I live far too far away to come for a dip but, oh, how I have milk
bottle legs (much too white!) that are in desperate need of a tan!
When we have had seasons to shift things up:
~3 subjects that we determine must be done everyday: for us, math,
grammar, Latin -- limit them to 30 minutes each--set the timer.
~have a goal time to head outside (1.5 hrs after beginning)--remind kids.
Offer juice/treat if everyone meets the goal time.
~Then read, read, read---outside. Everyone feels a change of pace, we still
are getting circle time, and history, geography, science--etc---but doing it
outside gives everyone a change of scenery (read for another 1.5 hr
outside).
Done by lunch then...
Works for us crazy Canucks to the north who are hanging in there with
school, some kids doing school on Sat. so that "we can get more summer."
~grin~
HANGETH THOU IN THERE, O KENDRA!!!!!!!!
He's got you in His grip!
All's grace...
Ann
--------------------------
Gosh I wish had a bowl of wisdom for you. Or at least a good drink. But
I know the greatest way to help is through prayer. With that the two
times that come to mind semi recently, where I have or had to pare down
school and/or my life was traveling and last April. For traveling I
bought a vocab book at 3 different grade levels that was a fun word
game type thing. The kids loved it. Still do. Kept them reading, and
doing a little fill in type writing. And I bought math crossword
puzzles from Scholastic to keep up their math facts. They read books and
journaled our vacation.
Last April I was emotional, spent, confused at the direction we were
headed. I prayed and prayed and then stopped school all together
(except 15 minutes for my phonics kid). I was ready to jump back into
school by mid August with a clear vision of where we were headed but
still waited until after Labor Day to start. I probably sound like a
slacker but I was new woman come September and I am so thankful that I
did stop. I do believe I accomplished more later because I stopped when
I did. I know now it was the season I was in (I was worried it was me
being irresponsible) because I feel so differently this year. This gave
me time and energy to take care of myself and other 'stuff'.
Where's your outside help? Anyone there to do easy stuff for you in the
afternoon so you can do the stuff in the morning hours that you feel
only you can do? Will the kids really be that behind if you do all you
can by 2 and then be done?
I'd tell you to remember to sleep, because the lack of sleep will zap your
energy, but if you're too uncomfortable that wouldn't help at all :)
Drink your water! Brain function lags and headaches ensue due to lack
of hydration.
I am praying (and have been). At least if none of my ideas helped you
know I am praying.
Dana
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Some of you have been waiting a really, really, long time for me to answer your emails, and for that I apologize. Hopefully it just makes you realize that I am normal and have a threshold for what I can handle, just like you! I am not Supermom 
Kendra,
If you have time and think it would help other moms, can you talk a little about how you survive the last 2 weeks of pregnancy and the first 4-6 weeks postpartum, when the baby starts sleeping longer stretches? We have a daily schedule, meals in the fridge, and a somewhat structured home. We have three little girls right now, ages 6, 4, and 2, with #4 due today, and obviously not here! J We are homeschooling the oldest two, and started school back in June so we could take our ‘summer’ when the baby comes, and just do as much school as we need for sanity & structure.
Thank you so much for your encouragement & example!
Melanie
Hi Melanie-
Well, if I've figured correctly, that sweet baby due "today" is now two months old. Yipes! I am behind, aren't I???
You know, my life is very different now than when I had the same ages as yours: 6, 4, 2, and a newborn. For one thing, having older kids is an amazing amount of help, and for another, I actually have help coming into my house now. I'll blog on that later, but suffice it to say that I think those earlier years when the oldest of four is just six years old are HARD.
My husband can't take time off from work. Once a patient actually got upset with his receptionist when she told him that my husband wasn't in the office because his wife was in labor. Between impatient patients and running his dental practice solo, he just can't be away from the office very long. I can't remember which baby, but with one who was born in the morning, he actually went back to work and saw patients in the afternoon. I just can't rely on him for help and I marvel at the dads who are given a paid six-week paternity leave. If that's your husband, be thankful!
As for surviving the last two weeks, I can tell you that I haven't been very good about it in the past. The pressure that feels like a bowling ball (you all can relate, I'm sure), the sleeplessness, the exhaustion, the constant heartburn, and my sciatic nerve keeping me in pain made those last weeks a marathon of emotional and physical endurance.
But then the last pregnancy was completely different, although considering the pregnancy (my eighth), the fact that it was on the heels of a miscarriage, and my age (36), it shouldn't have been. But the last pregnancy was the first one in which I was taking a fabulous supplement and having regular chiropractic care. One or the other or both made all the difference in the world.
It might be a good idea to store up freezer meals during the second trimester when we feel good. Then in the last few weeks, dinner is done. I'd also think about super-simple meals the rest of the day-- cereal or peanut butter toast for breakfast and cheese, crackers, and apples for lunch. If that's what you serve for 14 straight days, it's ok. It's a season. Oh, and eliminate or simplify snacks. You don't need a fourth meal to clean up. Oh, AND, eat outside where the crumbs don't have to be swept up 
In the weeks postpartum, life is about survival and being a kind mom. I'm a failure at this. Apparently day four is my worst, or so my husband has noticed. So I am already thinking about what I can do to be prepared for the day my hormones all attack at once and I am an exhausted, crying mess (wow, I sound pathetic, don't I?). I might try to see if some of my littler or "trickier" ones can have a play date at a friend's home, or if I just need to sit the older ones down and let them know that I need to be in bed for the day. My older ones are all so sweet when I have a need like that, but when I just had little ones like you, I think the best thing would have been to ask a friend to take them for the day.
Take the first few weeks or months (whatever you need) postpartum to ease into life. This is a great time to invite all the children to snuggle in bed with you in the morning and turn on a short video to watch together. Take the day slowly. Don't stress about school. Enjoy the baby but insist everyone have an afternoon rest or nap time. Make hot cocoa with marshmallows and read picture books aloud while recouping on the couch. Keep the little ones close by so they aren't in another room destroying everything in reach.
I am sorry it took me so long to respond to your questions, but hopefully your postpartum weeks went well.
Blessings,
Kendra
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Kendra,
If you have time and think it would help other moms, can you talk a little about how you survive the last 2 weeks of pregnancy and the first 4-6 weeks postpartum, when the baby starts sleeping longer stretches? We have a daily schedule, meals in the fridge, and a somewhat structured home. We have three little girls right now, ages 6, 4, and 2, with #4 due today, and obviously not here! J We are homeschooling the oldest two, and started school back in June so we could take our ‘summer’ when the baby comes, and just do as much school as we need for sanity & structure.
Thank you so much for your encouragement & example!
Melanie
Hi Melanie-
Well, if I've figured correctly, that sweet baby due "today" is now two months old. Yipes! I am behind, aren't I???
You know, my life is very different now than when I had the same ages as yours: 6, 4, 2, and a newborn. For one thing, having older kids is an amazing amount of help, and for another, I actually have help coming into my house now. I'll blog on that later, but suffice it to say that I think those earlier years when the oldest of four is just six years old are HARD.
My husband can't take time off from work. Once a patient actually got upset with his receptionist when she told him that my husband wasn't in the office because his wife was in labor. Between impatient patients and running his dental practice solo, he just can't be away from the office very long. I can't remember which baby, but with one who was born in the morning, he actually went back to work and saw patients in the afternoon. I just can't rely on him for help and I marvel at the dads who are given a paid six-week paternity leave. If that's your husband, be thankful!
As for surviving the last two weeks, I can tell you that I haven't been very good about it in the past. The pressure that feels like a bowling ball (you all can relate, I'm sure), the sleeplessness, the exhaustion, the constant heartburn, and my sciatic nerve keeping me in pain made those last weeks a marathon of emotional and physical endurance.
But then the last pregnancy was completely different, although considering the pregnancy (my eighth), the fact that it was on the heels of a miscarriage, and my age (36), it shouldn't have been. But the last pregnancy was the first one in which I was taking a fabulous supplement and having regular chiropractic care. One or the other or both made all the difference in the world.
It might be a good idea to store up freezer meals during the second trimester when we feel good. Then in the last few weeks, dinner is done. I'd also think about super-simple meals the rest of the day-- cereal or peanut butter toast for breakfast and cheese, crackers, and apples for lunch. If that's what you serve for 14 straight days, it's ok. It's a season. Oh, and eliminate or simplify snacks. You don't need a fourth meal to clean up. Oh, AND, eat outside where the crumbs don't have to be swept up
In the weeks postpartum, life is about survival and being a kind mom. I'm a failure at this. Apparently day four is my worst, or so my husband has noticed. So I am already thinking about what I can do to be prepared for the day my hormones all attack at once and I am an exhausted, crying mess (wow, I sound pathetic, don't I?). I might try to see if some of my littler or "trickier" ones can have a play date at a friend's home, or if I just need to sit the older ones down and let them know that I need to be in bed for the day. My older ones are all so sweet when I have a need like that, but when I just had little ones like you, I think the best thing would have been to ask a friend to take them for the day.
Take the first few weeks or months (whatever you need) postpartum to ease into life. This is a great time to invite all the children to snuggle in bed with you in the morning and turn on a short video to watch together. Take the day slowly. Don't stress about school. Enjoy the baby but insist everyone have an afternoon rest or nap time. Make hot cocoa with marshmallows and read picture books aloud while recouping on the couch. Keep the little ones close by so they aren't in another room destroying everything in reach.
I am sorry it took me so long to respond to your questions, but hopefully your postpartum weeks went well.
Blessings,
KendraWell, hello again! I have been enjoying little Christian and have seriously neglected Preschoolers and Peace, but I know you all understand. Tonight he is nine days old and developing chubby cheeks and the ability to look at us for more than a minute or two before falling fast asleep again.
Nursing is not happening. I have had trouble with all seven, and yes I do know how to train them to latch on properly Not wanting to divulge too much private info on a public blog, let's just say I have anatomical reasons my babies can't nurse very well in the beginning. (Amy- are you glad I held back?) Anyway, as I have done with several others, I am pumping and will wait a few weeks to try to get this little guy back on, so if you think of it, please pray that he will.
I have some favorite products that have been a serious help to me this time around. I already told you about SuperMom supplements. Have you tried them yet? This is our first baby to not have breastmilk jaundice, and I strongly suspect the high Spirulina content he is getting through my milk to be the factor in that.
A few other great products, reviewed here just for you!
-The Miracle Swaddling Blanket This one is really, truly a fabulous find. I like to swaddle my newborns, and they seem to like it for at least a few months. Despite the fact that we also refer to it as "the baby straight jacket", the Miracle Swaddling Blanket calms Christian right down and allows him to sleep without flailing his arms out of the blanket while sleeping on his side. If you are interested in looking at one, see the link at the right. Amazon has a good price on them.
-Wish Garden Herbal Cord Care One of our homebirth midwives turned us on to this. It is a blend of Oregon grape root and goldenseal root powders, and it helps to dry up their cords and belly buttons quickly. I like that it's gentle. Even the doctor who checked Christian out of the hospital asked about it and thought it a better alternative to alcohol, even though I jokingly called it a "hippie homebirth thing".
-Soothies Gel Pads OK, These are fabulous. Fabulous! Because of my nursing issues, nursing is also excrutiatingly painful. And the other tricky part for me is that I produce an overabundance of milk. Soothies relieve the pain, absorb the moisture (this is the first time ever I haven't leaked constantly), and don't show under a shirt. They don't show at all! They are ridiculously overpriced, so ask your hospital lactation consultant if you can have some to take home, and also look for them on ebay. Just don't bid against me
I'll be back in a few days!
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Not wanting to divulge too much private info on a public blog, let's just say I have anatomical reasons my babies can't nurse very well in the beginning. (Amy- are you glad I held back?) Anyway, as I have done with several others, I am pumping and will wait a few weeks to try to get this little guy back on, so if you think of it, please pray that he will.
I have some favorite products that have been a serious help to me this time around. I already told you about SuperMom supplements. Have you tried them yet? This is our first baby to not have breastmilk jaundice, and I strongly suspect the high Spirulina content he is getting through my milk to be the factor in that.
A few other great products, reviewed here just for you!
-The Miracle Swaddling Blanket This one is really, truly a fabulous find. I like to swaddle my newborns, and they seem to like it for at least a few months. Despite the fact that we also refer to it as "the baby straight jacket", the Miracle Swaddling Blanket calms Christian right down and allows him to sleep without flailing his arms out of the blanket while sleeping on his side. If you are interested in looking at one, see the link at the right. Amazon has a good price on them.
-Wish Garden Herbal Cord Care One of our homebirth midwives turned us on to this. It is a blend of Oregon grape root and goldenseal root powders, and it helps to dry up their cords and belly buttons quickly. I like that it's gentle. Even the doctor who checked Christian out of the hospital asked about it and thought it a better alternative to alcohol, even though I jokingly called it a "hippie homebirth thing".
-Soothies Gel Pads OK, These are fabulous. Fabulous! Because of my nursing issues, nursing is also excrutiatingly painful. And the other tricky part for me is that I produce an overabundance of milk. Soothies relieve the pain, absorb the moisture (this is the first time ever I haven't leaked constantly), and don't show under a shirt. They don't show at all! They are ridiculously overpriced, so ask your hospital lactation consultant if you can have some to take home, and also look for them on ebay. Just don't bid against me
I'll be back in a few days!
I know it's iffy to post on a day when the morning sickness isn't knocking me out, but I *believe* I have had some success by keeping my stomach full of protein and by using Shonda Parker's Morning Soothe. That little tincture has taken the edge off.
I am also taking Super Mom and Tummy Tune-Up, but it's hard to tell whether they're helping or not. Yesterday was a bad day, today is better.
I was head-down in the shower trying to keep from throwing up last night when my 5-year-old walked by and said, "What are you doing?" (Side note: we have no door on our bathroom. Six kids and no bathroom door. What were the previous owners thinking???)
I said, "Trying to keep from throwing up."
"Oh", she replied. "Well, if you throw up in there, make sure you clean it up. And next time, run to the toilet as fast as you can."
That funny five-year-old