When Trials Define Your Life

I have written often about my best friend, Lisa.  We've been friends for 20 years as of last month; she was one of the first people I met the day I moved into my dorm at college.  She was already friends with my husband who was friends with her husband, and little did any of us know that 20 years later we would have 16 children between us, live 20 miles from each other, and worship together in the same church.  What a gift, and I am grateful every day for Lisa's faithful friendship. This has been a solid year of trials for Lisa's family.  Last fall she went into early labor and was on bedrest for 13 weeks.  She gave birth to Grace in January, and three weeks later Gracie was hospitalized for RSV. Last month, her nine-year-old son was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes.  Last Friday during a nature day field trip, her four-year-old broke his leg in three places.  Several ten pound babies have made reconstructive surgery absolutely necessary for Lisa, and that is scheduled for next Monday. Are you tired?  Me, too.  Please pray for Lisa's family, as their lives right now are defined by the trials they are weathering.  Pray that they run the race and do not grow weary.  Pray for strength, and peace, and mercy. Thanks.  Your prayers mean so very much to me.
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Circle Time Questions Beget Circle Time Questions
What am I to do with baby once she is past the holding in the sling stage? What do you do with Mighty Joe (Praise the Lord he is well) when Christian has playpen time? Also, you have a school room as do we. Do you spend a lot of time there? -Vicki Mighty Joe sleeps most of the morning.  He is up from about 8:30 till about 10:30, and in that time he is either being held by someone, in his little swing, or in his car seat watching the rest of us.  Then he sleeps until 12:30 or so.  That helps tremendously. Once he is more wakeful, he'll be with us in confined ways- either in the front pack or backpack (I have an Ergo, which serves as both), in the doorway jumper, or in the playpen when Christian isn't there.  It's just a matter of juggling both little guys.  Someone (usually a sister) tends to want to take them for stroller rides or otherwise entertain them, as well. Our schoolroom usage has varied from season to season.  Some years we've done almost everything in the schoolroom, while other years the schoolroom serves more as a storage space for everything and a workspace for kiddos who want to use it.  We are fairly mobile this year, but I find that if I park myself in the schoolroom, I can help more kids at once. Did you wait to introduce formal math to your older kids until they were in about 3rd-4th grade? -Jennifer I think the answer depends upon what you consider to be "formal math".  Math facts such as addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, measuring, and money?  Then no, we don't wait.  Abstract concepts?  Yes, we definitely wait.  We agree (particularly as we've watched all of them develop academically) with the Bluedorns. Up to what age have you used a playpen, Kendra? I’ve never used one at this age, but think maybe I should. At least to get us thru part of the morning. Any advice? -Dawn 38.  Some days when my husband gets home, I'm in the playpen and everyone else is running around.  I might be sucking my thumb, depending on how bad the day has been. :D I don't really know the answer to this question.  My guess would be 3?  4?  It probably has depended largely on the child.  I have a son who was so mellow he sat at the table coloring happily for 45 minutes when he was two.  I have a daughter who should have been in the playpen until she was six. My 2nd little boy, now 20 months old, can get very fussy. When he’s fussing because he’s not getting his way, we do the, “Oh, fussy babies have to go sit in their bed.” Then, we put him in his bed and come back to get him telling him he needs to be happy. Do you think that is the right way to handle it or do you have another magic method? -Amy Yes, that's a good plan.  You're communicating the standard and expectations.  No, I have no magic methods.  Bummer. My question is - IN THE AFTERNOON - when the little ones need naps (and sometimes mom does too!) what do the older kids do? -Christina Kathleen answered this one nicely: I’ve purchased lots of books on CD– The Chronicles of Narnia, j park (Jonathan Park), Radio Theatre, etc. and the big kids get quiet time where they each go to a room alone and “listen, play and read” with their CD player, stack of books, and tub of Legos or projects. They are refreshed by the alone time (which we all need when there are so many of us) and the little ones can sleep. After about 2 hrs. I get everyone up and we finish the day…
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Gratitude Journals

I had been following Ann's gratitude lists for quite some time and wanted to somehow prompt my kids to think about all we have been given.  A simple journal appealed to me- everything in the same spot and easy to pull off a shelf and put away.  I joined the kids with these, too, my first entry being "Summer":

I'm encouraging them to simply list or write about the things they are thankful for, but they all started out cropping pictures of things they like:

And then there's the 4-year-old version:

Apparently she's thankful for a lot of people we don't know.  And shampoo.

Our notebooks come from Millers Pads and Paper, with line sizes appropriate to each age.

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Solutions for Circle Time: What Can the Under-Three Crowd Do?
After the Fall Circle Time post I received several inquiries as to how to keep the under-three crowd busy for all that time: "I like the idea of doing most subjects during Circle Time, but what do the little ones do during the 2 hours?" -Christy "...the challenge was how to manage my 4 and 1-year-olds. We don’t have TV, not that I’d stick them in front of endless videos anyway, but I’m just at a loss as how to occupy them, still be present for them, etc. I’d like to include them, but its distracting to the older children." -Kelly "I have introduced many of your ideas for our circle time, the only problem is that the attention span of my 2 year old boy is not long enough for my agenda! I have given him paper to practice cutting with scissors and paper to color on, but he still tires of sitting at the table for more than about 15 minutes. Should I just reduce my expectations for circle time until he is a little older?" -Jennifer You all think I have this completely figured out, don't you?  Excuse me while I go laugh for a sec.  :) Oh, but that's right- I write a blog on this subject, with the intent to give you some hope and strategies and ideas for this very situation.  So, here we go... We started our official school year on Monday.  I'm not sure what in the world I was thinking, but somewhere in my head I thought that our 18-month-old would be content for at least an hour at the table during Circle Time.  About 5 minutes into it, the thought, "Um,  Kendra?  How long have you been parenting that it didn't dawn on you that Christian would not be happy for all that time at the kitchen table???" arose.  Duh. Compounding the problem was the fact that I wasn't planning to have all of our Circle Time at the kitchen table, but was going to move upstairs to the schoolroom.  We don't own a high chair; instead the little guys sit in a chair that attaches to the table. But it doesn't attach to the schoolroom tables.  Duh number two. After three days of tweaking, scribbling down battle plans, and implementing new ideas, here's what I've come up with: During the first half hour, Christian can sit at the kitchen table with us.  We've just finished breakfast and he can be kept busy playing with a bowl and some kitchen tools.  He won't be silent.  I repeat, he won't be silent. Peace with preschoolers does not equal a quiet house, and Christian will make noise, try to frantically sign "please" 53 times during the course of Circle Time- hoping we'll let him out of his chair- grumble, whine, and even cry.  He's a preschooler!  But we forge ahead merrily, reminding him gently and sometimes sternly to wait, play with his toys, and stop fussing.  The key to training a little guy to sit happily is to communicate that this is what is required of him.  In other words, if we were to heed every complaint and give into every demand, we would effectively be training him that by complaining and demanding, he will get what he wants. During the second half hour, he goes into the playpen and watches a short video in another room, so the video doesn't distract everyone else.  Currently he's viewing Signing Time.

Playpen Time

Now, the solution to the third half hour came to us today in a moment of God-given inspiration and grace.  Our schoolroom is connected to our laundry room, which has doors on either end.  We shut the door between the laundry room and the hallway and errected a safety gate between the laundry room and the schoolroom.  Voila!  The perfect little playroom where he can enjoy our presence but stay contained and happily wander around doing what 18-month-olds do. Today it was yelling at the Wedgets when they wouldn't stack for him and playing with a box of clothespins. During the last half hour of Circle Time, big brother takes Christian with him while he gets a morning break from his own studies.  He's 15 and only joins us for the beginning of Circle Time, but 90 minutes later he's ready for a break himself.  He's been taking Christian outside for walks and has been thinking up other things for the two of them to do together as the days go by.

And there it is- two happy hours filled for one busy 18-month-old boy.  Our solutions might not work for you because we live in different houses with different children.  But this I know: God is faithful to give you answers, so if you're wondering how to constructively fill up those hours for your littlest ones, ask for wisdom and He shall give it freely.  He promises so.

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Fall Circle Time
Summer is over, our vacation was wonderful, and now it’s time to buckle down and get back to school.  This year we are doing the bulk of our school subjects all together during our Circle Time, with the oldest two guys (15 and 13) popping in for our prayer time and the book we’re currently reading- Practical Happiness: A Young Man's Guide to a Contented Life. I recently read When People Are Big and God is Small and it made a huge impact on me.  We decided to make Isaiah 33:6 our theme verse for the year, and so we begin today by making a banner to hang with that verse reminding us Whom we are to fear.  Our Scripture memory for the fall also reflects the fear of God. -Fall 2008-
  • Theme: Isaiah 33:6
"Wisdom and knowledge will be the stability of your times, And the strength of salvation; The fear of the LORD is His treasure."
  • Prayer
  • Song, currently working on several Psalms
  • Scripture Memory:
Is 40:25 Ps 34:9-11 Ps 77:13 Hos 11:9 Is 57:15 Lev 26:12 Heb 13:5 Jn 15:14 Col 1:27
  • Ruth Heller Grammar books: the younger ones illustrate the words while the older ones illustrate, define, and create sentences.
  • Grammar Ace: Sonlight’s sole grammar curriculum, we’ll use this one to reinforce concepts and to shake things up a bit.
  • Word of the Day: the younger ones illustrate the words while the older ones illustrate, define, and create sentences.
  • Science Units (Wednesdays and Thursdays) (see Elizabeth Foss's beautiful Serendipity blog for unit studies)
Ponds & Frogs Bees Apples Electricity Dinosaurs Rocks and Minerals
  • Gratitude Journals- we'll be journaling all we're thankful for... more on these later...
It looks like a ton of stuff, doesn’t it?  I’m calculating 2 hours when I look at it all, and I’ve allowed for 2 hours and 15 minutes on our flow chart.  We need the extra cushion because we pretty much never do things exactly as the schedule plans.  The schedule is there to serve me, and I refuse to be run by it.  Still, if I didn’t have Circle Time written down, all of these ideas would never leave my head.  I just can’t think on my feet anymore.  Hmmm, I wonder why?
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Life at the Beach
We've just returned from nine restful, enjoyable, beautiful days at the beach.  We were in Santa Cruz, land of hippies, drop-outs, and really great clam chowder in sourdough bowls.  I'll get into meatier, helpful posts this week regarding school and life, but indulge me just a tad as I share the lovely photos my husband took.

There was beach combing...

Laughter...

Brotherly/sisterly love...

Family photos...

And Mighty Joe...

For all its inherent wackiness, we couldn't be happier to be Californians.  Viva la playa!

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